Complicated

I don't know what my deal is lately. I'm in a funk. I'm moody, I'm irritated, I'm tired. I'm tired of being asked 50 times what a badger looks like. I'm tired of the nightly bedtime routine, I'm tired of cooking dinner night after night. I'm tired of sweeping crumbs off the floor, I'm tired of living in this cramped apartment that we pay too much for, I'm tired of hubs getting up at 4:45am everyday. I'm tired of feeling like we never have enough money, time, or energy. I'm tired of playing 20 questions with the big one whenever we go somewhere, where are we going? what are we doing? why? well why? are we doing this? How long until we are there? Tired of telling the girls to do things 50 times.

I guess I am just tired of the daily grind. I'm tired of fighting with the girls every. single. night to go to sleep. If I don't stay on top of stuff nothing gets done, nobody gets to bed on time, nobody gets their teeth brushed, nobody cleans up after themselves. It all falls squarely on MY shoulders.

I just don't know what my problem is. Yes, I'm pregnant and that may be some to do with it but I was also pregnant AND took care of one child by myself for 6 months straight and don't remember feeling like this.
Even a mini vacation doesn't sound appealing. I have no desire to pack my crap and all the kids crap and then deal with them not sleeping because they don't adjust well to new places. Sitting in a hotel room with two wild, loud kids who don't want to sleep sounds more like torture. I'd rather just stay home. I'm tired of trying to figure out what my 3 year old is saying day after day after day.

I don't even necessarily want to go anywhere -without- them (Not an option in the first place) because I KNOW I will miss them and be bored or feel guilty that I'm not there.. I really DO miss them when I'm not with them and all I think about is being with them. So I'm not sure what I want.

Maybe I'm just wanting things to be easy and uncomplicated, which, at the moment, nothing in my life is. I'm in a cramped apartment that's too expensive, a town I haven't adjusted to, pregnant, running all over the place day after day, major life changes are happening soon, we're moving, dont know where, no jobs lined up, at this point nowhere to go. It's not an option to just go and see what happens..maybe if it were just hubs and I we could pull that off but we will have 3 mouths to feed. There's no 'winging it'

I have the most beautiful, funny, kids. I have a husband who jumps through hoops to make me happy and show me he loves me. I'm pregnant with a beautiful baby boy who I cannot WAIT to meet..My family is healthy and happy and yet I'm just....Tired.