Update on our life

My poor blog is so neglected. :-( I'm going to try to hop back into it.

We are settling into civilian life. I would be lying if I said I didn't miss the Army. I miss it terribly! This is right for us though.   Life is hectic. Hubs is working full time, going to school full time, big girl is in school all day, and I'm home with the two babies.  I'm still waiting for that perfect job to open up, but that option seems to be closed for now.  I have stopped applying because, well, I don't have anyone to watch the babies if I were to get an interview.    Another factor is all the time I would need off for Wesley. Ear infections, surgery, recovery.

We are battling ear infections with Wesley. They haven't stopped since his surgery on Sept 8th. One after the other. It's emotionally exhausting.  How can I possibly get a job when I would need to take off every 10 days for a week because of Wesley's ear infections..since he has tubes, they drain...no daycare would allow him to come with draining ears. The longest he's had without an infection is 10 days.   It's exhausting.   I can't get anyone to give me answers. I'm fighting constantly.

As for Hubs job.. I LOVE IT! We took a 50% pay cut when he took this job... it's hard..50% is a really hard cut,  but I've encouraged him to stay where he is. The environment he is in is SO good for him, mentally.  He needs the low key atmosphere that he's working in right now. After 8 years of constant stress and the environment he worked in, this job is doing wonders for him. He comes home happy and not stressed. His phone isn't ringing off the hook at all hours. He works 8:00-4:30..awesome hours and he works with great people.

As for Wesley's surgery.......It's tentatively scheduled for Nov 29th. That is all pending whether our supplemental insurance goes through...if it does, then we will be doing it here in Wichita as opposed to Kansas City.  It's all up in the air. I don't know what will happen.

I'm carrying the brunt of the load.  It is what it is now.  With Hubs at work and then either doing homework or studying or in seminars it all falls back on me. I don't think anyone realizes how much of a load I am carrying.  Mentally and emotionally. But that is what has to be done right now. All that we are doing now is bettering our future. In a year, two years... things will be much much better.

Blessings are happening though! About a month ago we got a mysterious deposit in our account. We were in the middle of a pay lapse and things were bad.  The day before that money came I didn't know what to put in my daughters lunch..didn't even have money to put in her lunch account to eat at school. I was down to nothing in the cupboards. The money showed up as a deposit from the Army... We called the accounting system and they said "we have no record as to why you got that money. We show nothing being paid to you"  WOW!!!!  I was able to buy groceries and get big girl her lunch an hour before she would have gone hungry!
Then last weekend I was paying bills and I went to check the mail and our water bill came.   I opened it up and we owed NOTHING! We had a credit of .81! They show I paid double last month but.. I didn't. Why would I pay twice the amount on a bill?


Did we make the right choice by getting out of the Military? Yes!  We are happy! Truly happy! Not happy because we have tons of money. Just... Happy.  My husband is less stressed, his memory is getting better as the stress stays low, We are close to family. We are making friends. We are working towards making roots here. It's all good!

Just Because You Can't See It Doesn't Mean It's Not There

All too many times people think that if you come home from war without external injuries you are okay. They say "Count yourself blessed"  And we do! Thank God mine and many others I know didn't lose their lives. I've lost many people I know in this war, but let's all remember though that there are injuries you don't see. Injuries that only someone close to that person can see.  TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury),  PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder),  and anxiety issues are a few of the many mental and psychological injuries that can occur while overseas.  They are far too often overlooked unless you know someone affected by it. 

This blog isn't political, I don't want it to be, I don't do political.  Honestly, I haven't decided who I am voting for and I don't give a hoot who you vote for.   Let me say one thing though... Please be aware, when someone says they are going to cut Military spending, that isn't just more pay for the Military members. It isn't brand new top of the line trucks.  Cutting funds for the Military means that programs that help soldiers and families deal with mental health will be cut. Less funding for those that need help!  Less programs available to help the families deal with what their spouse is going through.  Programs like that are invaluable. Programs like that save lives. Programs like that save families.  Programs like that saved MY family.

The man I am married to today is not the man I married. I know many many people whose story is the same.  My husband has a TBI.    

Why did that husband walk away from his family at the fair? Why is that man anxiously looking around the restaurant. Why did he make them leave the mall far before his wife or girlfriend was ready? Why can't he remember where he put this or that?   Why did he get so mad over such a little thing? Why does that man sitting there look so angry?  In a crowded mall you see a man and woman walking together and the woman is visibly anxious... is he beating her? Perhaps she's anxious wondering if her husband is okay..if he's going to need to leave before they've accomplished what they came for...wondering if all the people in the store will cause her husband to feel so anxious that he gets mad.

Before you judge just remember....maybe there's something else going on, far greater than you can imagine.

Let us never forget the wounds and injuries that we can't see.  Those that aren't visible to our eyes.