One stay at home moms journey to find herself again

Saturday, December 31, 2011

2012

2011 has been an insane ride. In one word: Rollercoaster.
I've been as high as I think I could be and as low as I think I could be.
I am so thankful for a new baby on the way...a boy nonetheless. So Thankful that my string of lows have turned into some highs.

I dont know what 2012 will bring... Baby, New President maybe, The end of the only life I've known while being married..the Army. I'm going to have to learn how to be a civilian, which scares the bajeeves outta me by the way.

I don't know where we'll end up, I don't know where we'll go, I don't even know if we'll have an income. I don't know where we will live. I know nothing about what our lives will be like in 6 months. Again, scares the bajeeves outta me.

I do know that I'll have my husband, my two precious girls and my handsome, new little man and I hope and pray that I will finally be close to family. Close enough to call my mom when I'm sick and need help instead of just dealing with it. Close enough to send my kids to grandma and grandpas for a night. Close enough to invite them over for weekly dinners.

There will be no party tonight..no bubbly..I don't even know if I can stay awake until midnight but 2012 here we come!

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Pregnancy, Orangutans, and vibrating toothbrushes

I never claimed to be the smartest while pregnant. I tend to lose all my memory and sense while pregnant and this didn't start happening until the second either.

Like with Little girl, I was walking through the grocery store and saw a certain fruit, decided to test the ripeness of said fruit to see if I wanted one and ended up sticking my finger through the fruit..which was gross. So I call my platonic husband (Whose husband was deployed also) and told her that it was soo gross because my finger had just gone through an Orangutan.. To which she was very quiet and said "you stuck your finger in an orangutan???) And I said "yah, ya know, those fruits, like a watermelon but not really, they are yellow)............."You mean a Cantaloupe??" ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..yyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa a Cantaloupe.
(I still haven't lived that down........)

Let's see...I forget my address quite often. Literally had to get out a bill the other day to see what my address is...


And the other day I was brushing my teeth, I have one of those really cool battery powered vibratey toothbrushes, I was just brushing away when I saw a smudge in the bathroom sink. So I took my hand off the toothbrush and let it just rest in my mouth, teeth shut, in my molar area so that I could use my hand to wipe away the smudge and as I'm wiping said smudge my head starts spinning, my vision is blurry, and I feel myself getting dizzy and I start freaking out thinking "Oh my gosh, I'm dying! This is what a brain aneurysm feels like, I really am dying, I can't die yet!!!" ( I was honestly very scared)...........until I realized that it was my vibratey toothbrush vibrating my head because it was still 'resting' in my mouth.............



I'm done having kids.

New year, changes, and an announcement

It's all over and done. Time to put away the tree, the lights, the decorations..Christmas is over and what a Christmas we had! It was chalked full of excitement, stress, and chaos at every moment, but wonderful.

The beginning on the year is a big turning point for us. New baby just a few months away and then we are uprooting our lives, doing a complete 180 and saying Goodbye to our time in the Army. I am so mixed about that, I know it's what's best but I am so mixed. This has been my 'family' the last 8 years. We have no job, no clue where we are going, and will have 3 kids to care for. Many other things will be taking place in the next few months and I'm trusting it is all for the best.

We found out 2 days before Christmas that we are having a little BOY!
I cannot believe it!! The past 19 weeks I 'felt' boy but I honestly thought it would be a girl, why don't I listen to myself?? When we saw those boy bits I was shocked...I still am shocked. What am I going to do with a boy?? I didn't realize how badly I wanted a boy, for Hubs. For him to have a son. A boy. I still can't believe it. Blue and trucks and sports. Little girl is already saying "beebee bubba" Big girl doesn't say much, I think she's still a little disgruntled that it's not a girl. haha Next thing on our list is to make our registry. After 2 girls I'm saying "blue?...whats that?" haha

I got spoiled rotten this Christmas. I didn't deserve it all!

Here's to a New Year that brings So so many changes!!

Friday, December 23, 2011

Christmas is about giving

We did something a few days ago we have never done before. We gave money to a man on the side of the street, they stand around at nearly every corner here. Why? I'm not sure. Because it felt right, because his sign was ledgible and was gramatically correct, because he looked truely greatful, because everytime someone gave him money he made the cross sign and kissed it, because he claimed to not smoke or drink? I'm not exactly sure why we did it, we've never done anything like that before, ever, it just felt like we should. So we did.

I didn't think much about it until hubs put something on his facebook, as that was so unlike us to do that and the responses astounded me. Angered me, saddened me. Even today, after hubs deleted it from his facebook because of the responses it still bothers me. These people not even knowing whether we gave me $1, $5, $20, or $40. After seeing what people said I'm GLAD we gave him the amount we did.

We got the following responses:
Good job, now he'll go buy booze
He'll still be a bum, even with the money
Great, now they'll all take advantage of you
That's good I guess, but he was probably lying

and so forth. There were a few people who didn't say anyting rude or against what we did but the majority did. This time of the year it saddened me to see so many people, so many people who I thought were friends with such a stingy attitude.

Here's the bottom line, it was a GIFT. We WANTED to do it. What he did with it is out of my hands. So what if he decieved us? So what if he did buy booze? That absolutely does not affect us or our lives. We did what our hearts told us. We didn't NEED that money, but he might have and if he did I hope it brightened his day, his week even.

It's Christmas time. Isn't Christmas about giving? How does him, possibly, not using the money "right" (when you give a gift you can't specify how someone uses it so I dont know that there is a "right" but whatever) How does that affect me? It DOESN'T. It doesn't affect me at all. We gave the money and followed our hearts. If he took that money and blew his nose on it, so be it. I honestly don't care. If he lied then that is on him. Not me.

When did Christmas become about how much I can get, rather than Giving???

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Tuesday's 10..a day late

1. Sorry. I was too tired to think of 10 things yesterday.. too tired and feeling way to pregnant.

2. TOMORROW, TOMORROW I LOVE YA, TOMORROW, YOU'RE ONLY A DAY AWAYYYYY. OMG, I can't believe we find out what LT is tomorrow!! Of course, we aren't tellin till Christmas though..bwahahahahahaha

3. I had cheetos and icecream for dinner last night. It was incredible

4. Christmas is 4 days away!!

5. I still have so much baking to do..yikes.

6. I didn't want to make dinner last night, but did anyways, Taco Pizza... I accidentally burnt the crap out of it. Lesson learned: Don't cook when you aren't feelin it.

7. Hubs and the kids ate the middle 'not so burnt' part and I had cheetos.

8. I *heart* cheetos

9. After this I'm going to shower and then get busy...I swear.

10. I love it that hubs is working 1/2 days until the new year.

Monday, December 19, 2011

The War Is Over

http://news.yahoo.com/last-us-troops-leave-iraq-war-ends-043431802.html



The War is over. I can remember watching on Tv in my bedroom the 'Beginning' of the war. The day it began. March 20, 2003. Little did I know how much my life would intertwine with this war and how deeply it would affect me and my, then, future children. I had no clue. The last thing I ever thought was that I would marry a soldier. I remember sitting on my bed, it was a Wednesday night, watching the footage on Tv. I remember it very vividly to this day.

Thousands of lives lost, thousands injured, thousands changed forever. Mentally, physically, emotionally. I know so many people who were changed. Some gave the ultimate sacrifice, Some injured outwardly, some changed inwardly. I can't help but remember those who lost their life. Especially one, inparticular, a young man I knew from back home, a young man who wasn't just an Army friend, a young man whom I spent time with him and his sisters before I was ever an Army wife. It hits close to home.

Here I am, almost 9 years later, my husband has give 2 years of his life to the Iraq war, I've given up my husband for 2 years.

May we never forget those that gave their lives and those injured. Also, never forget those who were changed inside and bare no physical reminders of the war. For many who served and came home the war still goes on.

Even though the war is over let's not forget our troops. Brave heros that went and did their job. I can honestly say I don't know one soldier who would say they regret serving.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Happy Birthday Santa Baby!

Baby girl,

You are 3 today! I can't believe it! Where does time go?

You have made the last 3 years so much fun. You're mommies girl. Ever since you were born you have been stuck to my hip, which made it very difficult when your dad was gone. You're ornery, funny, and oh so sweet, but girl, do you have a temper!

I can't imagine my life without you in it. I wasn't expecting to be pregnant with you but, my dear, you were the best surprise ever and a wonderful addition to our family.

I love hearing you say "mommy" and "love you" Even now, your favorite place to be is on mommies lap while I scratch your back. I love all your little hugs and kisses. I love having a little Santa baby who walks around saying "ho ho ho"

I love you more than I could ever tell you! You are such an amazing, beautiful, wonderful addition to our family!!

The past 3 years have gone by so fast. Soon you'll be going to school.

My sweet, precious one; how did you go from this:

To this:

so very, very quickly!

I love you, my little girl!

Love always and forever!!

mommy

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Epic Christmas Movies

What are some of your families Must watch Christmas movies every year? We have quite a few:

A Christmas Story (RAAALLPHHIEEEE)

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles (I didn't watch this one until I was married but I LOVE it)

National Lampoons Christmas Vacation

ELf (duh)

The old Frosty and Rudolph movies

Fred Clause

and I try to watch all 3 Santa Clause movies with Tim Allen in them.. LOVE those!

Give me some new ones, what are your favorites?

Friday, December 16, 2011

Christmas Rules.....according to me

1. Thou Shalt always wrap gifts in beautiful paper and put a huge bow on top.. No bags.

2. Thou Shalt always have more desserts than normal food.

3. Thou Shalt put ribbon on the tree

4. Thou Shalt eat sugar from the moment you get up until you go to bed on Christmas Day.

5. Thou Shalt watch A Christmas Story as many times as possible. One of those times must be on Christmas day

6. Thou Shalt watch Elf as much as possible

7. Thou shalt eat sugar cookies with Hot chocolate

8. Thou Shalt go "ooing and awwing"

9. Thou Shalt have a beautiful Christmas table cloth

10. Thou Shalt be JOLLY

11. Thou Shalt always have beautiful sparkly wrapping paper (refer to rule #1)

12. Thou Shalt have yummy candles going at all times

13. Thou shalt make sugar cookies with kids (ok, I don't do this because I don't have the patience, but SOMEONE should)

14. Thou Shalt hit the stores Dec 26th for the 1/2 price Christmas decor for next year (Dec 26th is MY Black Friday)

and last but not least:

15. Thou Shalt sing Christmas songs the whole month of December

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Tuesday's 10

1. I woke up feeling sooo pregnant. My feet hurt, my back hurts, I just want to sleep.

2. Im trying to make a grocery list but nothing sounds good except sugar cookies and french fries

3. I asked little girl what was in my tummy and she goes "beebee" then put her hand up there and looks at me with big eyes and goes "YAHHH MOMMA! BEEBEE" lol

4. You are richer than you think you are! There are so many people this year with not enough food, let alone being able to provide Christmas for their kids...In their eyes if you have money for everything you NEED, you are RICH! Remember that this season!

5. Im getting my new replacement phone today, mine fritzed, the only downside is it's white. I hate the color white. My vehicle is PEARL..not white.

6. My baby girl will be 3 on Sunday! Where did the time go??...crap..I gotta find her a cake

7. We taught Little girl to say "gracias" hehe it's really cute

8. I really do like the management in our apartments. They are so so nice!

9. Ribbon just 'makes' a Christmas tree
ry b
10. I'm hoping to get my Christmas wrapping done in the next day or two. I'd love to have it done before my very busy week next week

Monday, December 12, 2011

The Parenting Dilemma

Something happened yesterday and it's still bothering me. I don't know if I'm in the norm or if I'm just a crazy momma bear but at the laundromat yesterday the old Asian woman started correcting my kids because they were touching a dryer. Now, had I noticed them touching a dryer I would have stopped them.

Here's what bothers me; unless you are a family member do not correct my kids or get after them if I am around. Talk to ME about it. Then I can handle my children but to stand there and 'click' at them and wag your finger and get onto them in front of me..uhh no ma'am. Don't ignore my authority. Maybe I had told them to open the dryer for me, I don't know. But let me handle it. This lady literally stood right by me and got after them so she obviously knew I was there and they were close by me and had forgotten the dryers by that point.

In my opinon, uless the child is under the care of you or about to harm or injure them or another peson, there's no reason for another adult to confront a child and 'get onto them' Talk to the parent. Sure, if the parent isn't there then by all means, step up as an adult, but if the parent is there be an adult and talk to that parent.
"Excuse me, your child keeps hitting mine, would you mind stopping it"
"Pardon me, ma'am, but we don't allow children to touch the equipment"
"Excuse me, but your child is bothering mine and she doesn't feel well, I'd hate for your child to get sick"

What's so bad about that?!? There's no reason for "hey, kid I don't know from adam, stop it" Maybe that parent has different rules than you, if those rules don't line up with yours, if they don't parent as you do, so what. get over it. Ignore it. Are you the King of parenting where all your rules are the rules that BE?

You won't believe how many times random people have corrected my kids. I know I may be young, I may look even younger, but for Goodness sake I KNOW how to parent my kids. My kids do not run wild, my kids do not disrespect. Don't just assume because you are 50 that you can take over my parenting duties.

Now, granted there are times where, yes, I would like another parent to step in. Bullying, if my kid were to hurt themselves or someone else, or if I wasn't around, but for the rest of the time..Step. off. I keep a very close eye on my kids while out.

I just don't understand why some parents feel the need to overstep another parents 'voice' right in front of them. I would never dream of correcting someones child while in front of them. Not my kid. If something they are doing bugs me I put on my big girl panties and deal with it or I remove myself from the situation.

So there you have it... momma bear at her finest. "

Friday, December 9, 2011

Fun Foto Friday

I totally almost forgot it was Friday. In my defense I've had a pukey kid and another who says her tummy hurts. I really miss my own washer and dryer when I gotta do puke laundry. Anyways, I digress, welcome to the first "FUN FOTO FRIDAY"


This is how we left Ft. Hood to come here. I miss that house so much! It was so hard to walk out that door. I actually cried a few tears walking around the house remembering all the memories there..Sappy I know.



This is how we slept for 5 wks, while we waited on the Army to get their crap together. It sucked


Rain, Rain

And Lastly, a picture of us at the Ball last week

The Joy of Christmas

YAY YAY HIP HORRAY! It's almost CHRISTMAS! That lovely time of year, gifts, wrapping paper, ribbons, bows, sparkles. I love wrapping presents. It's one of my favorite things to do. A big pile of presents and a big pile of wrapping paper, bows, tags, do-dads, it's incredible! Don't cheat and use bags, that's no fun. I would gladly wrap presents all day. I've been known to wrap presents, start disliking that wrapping paper, unwrap all presents and rewrap in new paper...no joke.

I'm really feeling the pressure this year though. We are SO far away from family, I'm pregnant and tired, and I feel totally rushed in everything. I'm trying to balance what I have to do daily with the don't over do it's that I am getting. Along with trying to finish Christmas shopping, planning, wrapping, shipping, ect. At this point I have no clue what we are having for Christmas dinner, I have no clue who, if anyone, will be here with us. I have no clue when I am going to get all the shipping done. Fair warning, family, if your gifts come late, please forgive me!! Christmas cards..I've addressed many, Let's see if I can get them out on time.

Christmas dinner... I am really considering Pizza. Is that bad of me? Is it any less bad if I make homemade pizza ?? Or make something in the crockpot..What could I make in the crock pot that's "Christmas worthy" I just don't know. I can almost guarentee the pies are coming from Village Inn as I'm already obligated to make our Family Christmas cookies, per hubs family tradition. I'm willing to take any ideas. Or if anyone wants to give me the gift of Paula Deen this year that would be lovely too, just sayin...

I'm really trying to find the FULL joy of Christmas I usually have but all I feel like doing this year is eating oranges, slushies, and pie. (is that a bad Christmas dinner?)

Not even Christmas music is getting me in the full holly jolly Mood. Don't get me wrong, my mood now IS pretty holly jolly, but I tend to go above and beyond on Christmas. I've even watched my fair share of Christmas movies.

This baby is really messin with my jolly!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Christmas List

What's on your Christmas list this year? I don't normally ask for things for Christmas because I don't really know what I 'need' I really don't need anything. Nor do I normally just browse at the store for things I'd 'like' So when someone asks me what I want I am usually stumped and say "ohh I don't care" or "don't get me anything"

This year though I actually have a Christmas list! I'm really proud of myself..as is Hubs! He doesn't normally get me anything because I tell him not to.

On my list I have a pair of Black Sparkly Toms (I love glitter and sparkle), a magnetic 'hold it to the fridge' thing for my Ipad ( I don't remember what it's called but I remember seeing it and thinking I needed one bc I'm always using my Ipad in the kitchen for recipes or music and it's a trial not to get it gooped), a gift card for Kindle Books and a Motherhood Maternity Gift card.

See!! I'm really proud! I have more than one thing on my list! go me!


So what's on your Christmas list??

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Sorry I've abandonded You

Sorry I've been MIA for awhile. I've been in a funk. A Christmas Funk. No real reason why, I just feel down. I'm blaming the pregnancy.

I thought I'd share a few funnies from my kids to help lighten my mood and give ya'll a laugh at the same time.


My kids hate tapioca pudding. We found this out while eating at a Chinese resteraunt. One taste had both my kids gagging and letting it drool back out their mouths and little girl literally made herself throw up to get the pudding out of her mouth. Yah, It was a sight. 2 tired parents trying in vain to catch as much tapioca pudding spewing out of our kids mouths with a grand total of 2 paper napkins. Looking back it's hilarious to me beacuse I, too, hate tapioca pudding. The really yicky part was that Little girl had just eaten Red jello before that. Red jello puke looks like..er...blood. It was bad.
That was also the meal that hubs decided to try octopus. Whole...octopus. It was nasty. It squeaked when squished. I almost threw up. He didn't like it. Thank Goodness. I left that resteraunt quite grumpy. We aren't a fun family to go eat out with..honestly. We aren't. Unless it's Peter Piper Pizza, then we're a blast.


Big Girl told me if I behaved she would buy me cupcakes (Can you all tell what I bribe my kids with?) I'm hoping I behaved. I do know for a fact little girl apparently did not behave because I heard Big girl tell her "You don't get cupcakes. You're not 'bein have'"
She told me she would buy the cupcakes with the money she had in her hands...unfortuantly she only had 2 dimes, a penny, and a Peter Piper Pizza token. I'm kinda sad. I don't think I'm getting cupcakes.



I'm going to try to get back into my blogging mode and get over my funk. I am going to start "Fun Foto Friday" I have tons of pics of my phone that I can't wait to share, so be watching!