Something happened yesterday and it's still bothering me. I don't know if I'm in the norm or if I'm just a crazy momma bear but at the laundromat yesterday the old Asian woman started correcting my kids because they were touching a dryer. Now, had I noticed them touching a dryer I would have stopped them.
Here's what bothers me; unless you are a family member do not correct my kids or get after them if I am around. Talk to ME about it. Then I can handle my children but to stand there and 'click' at them and wag your finger and get onto them in front of me..uhh no ma'am. Don't ignore my authority. Maybe I had told them to open the dryer for me, I don't know. But let me handle it. This lady literally stood right by me and got after them so she obviously knew I was there and they were close by me and had forgotten the dryers by that point.
In my opinon, uless the child is under the care of you or about to harm or injure them or another peson, there's no reason for another adult to confront a child and 'get onto them' Talk to the parent. Sure, if the parent isn't there then by all means, step up as an adult, but if the parent is there be an adult and talk to that parent.
"Excuse me, your child keeps hitting mine, would you mind stopping it"
"Pardon me, ma'am, but we don't allow children to touch the equipment"
"Excuse me, but your child is bothering mine and she doesn't feel well, I'd hate for your child to get sick"
What's so bad about that?!? There's no reason for "hey, kid I don't know from adam, stop it" Maybe that parent has different rules than you, if those rules don't line up with yours, if they don't parent as you do, so what. get over it. Ignore it. Are you the King of parenting where all your rules are the rules that BE?
You won't believe how many times random people have corrected my kids. I know I may be young, I may look even younger, but for Goodness sake I KNOW how to parent my kids. My kids do not run wild, my kids do not disrespect. Don't just assume because you are 50 that you can take over my parenting duties.
Now, granted there are times where, yes, I would like another parent to step in. Bullying, if my kid were to hurt themselves or someone else, or if I wasn't around, but for the rest of the time..Step. off. I keep a very close eye on my kids while out.
I just don't understand why some parents feel the need to overstep another parents 'voice' right in front of them. I would never dream of correcting someones child while in front of them. Not my kid. If something they are doing bugs me I put on my big girl panties and deal with it or I remove myself from the situation.
So there you have it... momma bear at her finest. "
3 comments:
I have absolutely no problem with people correcting my children, as long as it is within reason of course. That is how it was when I grew up. Then it wasn't an issue of overstepping boundries it was helping. Of course then most people had the same values and were instilling those values in children. The communities raised the children, not only the parents, and the children (as a whole) were a lot more respectful than they are today. We also didn't get into as much trouble because everyone was looking out for the kids not just turning a blind eye when someone was doing something wrong. It is a different time now, but some people are still in that mindset. I have absolutely no problem correcting other peoples children, although I normally wouldn't if mom or dad are standing right there.
So, I obviously don't have children yet, so I can't really comment on this, but - I really don't know how I will be. It would probably peeve me a lot if someone was correcting my kids if I didn't think they were doing anything wrong. But I will probably feel a lot like you - it would depend in different circumstances. If they were going to hurt themselves, then sure, but if they were doing something pretty harmless and someone got after them, it would probably make me mad. Anyways, I don't know. I'll let you know in a year or two. =)
Oh - and you are very much an inspiration... I will probably be asking you many questions once I have my first little one. =)
Please keep in mind, also, that my point of view may be a bit biased as I have spent 3 years parenting solely alone, no grandparents close, nothin, and even 6 months after the deployment ended I still struggle with co-parenting, even with hubs. I am so used to doing it alone that it feels like my toes are being stepped on at times so that could very much influence my point of view on this subject. :-D
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