One stay at home moms journey to find herself again

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Now among the Smartphoned

I have joined the rest of the world in the "Smartphone Era" I got my first 'smartphone' last week..I do believe that thing is smarter than me! I have learned some valuable lessons though in the past week..Enjoy:


1. I have no clue where the on/off button is...It died a few days ago and when I plugged it in and charged it I had to turn it on; I decied to randomly hit every button in hopes that I'd strike gold, which I did...I just have no clue which button was 'gold' crraapp

2. I've already purse dialed my mom...I still am not sure how that happened but she heard my whole grocery store conversation..Thank Goodness I wasn't doing anything bad, not that I do bc I'm an angel, but..If I werent, ya know....If I purse dial you, I'm sorry..forgive me.

3. I'm really not 100% sure how to end a call so I've just been waiting until the person on the other end hangs up first so it'll automatically hang up..so please, if we're talking just hang up first. okay?

4. Note: turn down volume at night..if not, everytime I get an email in any one of the 3 emails that I have or somebody comments on my Facebook it will start singing "Beautiful Girl" at me all night long. While I enjoy the song I don't so much enjoy it at 1, 1:30, 1:45, 3, 3:15, and 5am.

5. I've already dropped it twice........yaaaaa luckily she wasn't hurt.

6. I'm not so sure about the 'Genius" button. The time I tried it out I said a name to call and it totally jacked it up...didn't appear very 'genius' to me. I'm not in the mood to holler at a phone. I holler enough as is. No genius for me

7. I'm suppoesd to be able to put my music on there...It's beyond me how that's done though.

8. I'm obsessed with takings pics on my phone and then emailing them to people.......really...It thrills me. It also thrills me that I can 'flip' the camera and take my own picture. like..thrills me to no end. Could do it all day.

9. My phone has the Textfree app I used on my Itouch...I can't tell you how much that thrills me! I can text however much I want all for free! And my phone isn't even Apple! So..so THRILLED. PLUS it's 4G which means I can text anywhere as opposed to my Itouch, I could only text when I had wifi...best..thing..EVER
Do you ever wonder why? Why me? Why this life? Not necessarily in that whiny, complainy way, just the normal curious why? Why was I dealt this hand? What's the purpose for this? I believe everything happens for a reason. There's a purpose behind everything but on that note that makes me also wonder why. What lesson am I supposed to learn from this. 3 Deployments in 6 years; why? I know a lady who is on her 7th *yes..7th* deployment...why?? Especially when we have those Soldiers who haven't deployed at all, why does 1 Soldier have to miss 7 YEARS of their families life? Losing someone you love, whether it be a soldier KIA or another family member; why? Why does it seem like some peoples lives are more challenging than others..good people, who deserve good and do good always seem to be fighting for that next 'good' I know someone who is a good person, kind, nice, does good for people, always there when needed and yet they are always fighting one challenge or the other. I wonder what purpose does this serve? What lesson will be learned in the end? How is this situation going to change my life?

Sunday, April 17, 2011

To my girls:

Lillia,

You were giving mommy drama before you were even born. You were feisty and determined starting at 34 weeks. Sciata, carpal tunnel, causing mommy so much pain, You didn't wanna be born when you got your eviction notice..to the tune of 26 hours of labor, You had your own plan, your own ideas on how things should go. "I'm not ready to be born yet so since you're making me I'll just not breathe right and then spend 3 hours in the nursery fightin with nurses" :-) "you want me to nurse? yaaa no thanks" I love you feisty girl! You're a lot like your momma. They say the child you clash with the most is the one that is most like you and darlin' you and I are already goin rounds. I can't imagine the teenage years that are to come. :-) You have a lot of your momma in you. You are also the sweetest, kindest, loving girl I know! You are, and have always been, your daddy's girl. When you were a baby fightin with mama to sleep or..well..basically anything, your daddy would come along, pick you up and you'd do anything he wanted. You were putty in his hands. You're a little shy around new people and places though. I will always, always fight for you and never let anyone hurt you. I love you my beautiful, crazyhair princess!

Allana,
You were my little surprise. I actually found out I was pregnant with you on my grandmas (RIP mam) birthday. My little gift. From the moment you were born you were mommies girl. Glued to my side. You slept with me for the first 6 months of your life, well until daddy came home from deployment, then we had to stop that. You, my dear, have the Owens twinkle in your eye. You're ornery, funny, and a complete jokster.
Oh, but girlfriend, You got your daddy's temper. Yes ma'am you did. Which you and your daddy will be discussing once he gets home, fair warning.
You are a very easy child...except for when I make you mad, then you are no fun to be around! You're also my eater girl. You were the child at a year old who was tearin apart a brisket all by yourself.
You have a very tender heart, like your momma. Contrary to popular belief you -do- have mommies hair and sissy has daddies. (everyone always thinks the opposite) You are a crazy monkey child! You're strong and can get anywhere you want to and are always climbing.
Mommy loves you Monkey! Never forget that. I'll fight till death for you!

always and forever,
momma

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Lemme have it!

Here we go again..I am back on the weight loss train... My goal is to get my BMI in the 'normal' range. A goal I thought was unattainable a year ago but I've already lost 35 lbs so what's 10 more? I need to kick down a new goal.
10 more pounds would put my BMI in the normal range for my height *Midget* But here's the thing...I am SO totally plateaued. I'm still working out fairly well. 3-5 days a week for 45mins - 1 hr. My eating is less than stellar but I plan to shape that up..I'm doubtful that that's the whole problem bc I am not eating horrible horrible, just not good. After Easter is over there will be no more sugary-ness but until then I do plan to shape up my eating in other ways..So lemme have it, Give me some of your weight loss tricks, ect. Anything to get me over this plateau! My goal is 10 lbs in 2 months. Which sounds super easy except for the fact that when you don't have a ton to lose it's harder to lose it.

This has been, by far, the BEST thing I've done this last year. I'm happier (mentally and emotionally), I have more energy, I'm proud of myself, I have more self confidence, I'm less stressed and I'm a better mother!

So lemme have it......I need your help!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Peace, Love, and Nose Spray

So here's the thing about being a mom. You are NOT allowed to be sick but I expected this to happen. After 2 months of extreme stress, no sleeping, barely eating, the only thing that can happen to ones body is that it just gives out. And mine did. I had 2 very sick babies last week and sure enough by Wednesday it caught me and I was..near..death...I nearly recovered, proud of myself for conquering this hurtle until this morning when I woke up to sinuses that felt like they were exploding. I now have a textbook case of a sinus infection. 2 kids to still care for, 14 hours a day, no man comin home at 5pm to 'take over' It's just not fair.
I did make a dr appt but then I cancelled and heres why...I would have had to take both kids, toys, objects to keep them happy, drive 30 minutes to my dr, wait, see the dr, drive home, wait way too long for meds, ect and I just didn't have that energy..so I cancelled it and took a nap. That's right, the stars aligned. Hopefully OTC stuff will heal me up. I am a mom and moms have super powers so I have hope.
I went to the store and stocked up on OTC meds, sleeping meds, day meds, nose spray and Rocky Road Icecream (Because Rocky Road Icecream fixes everything) Heres the thing about nose spray...I hate it..they scares me..I have a phobia about things goin in my nose, I'm afraid that I'll drown (Don't judge) I know I really won't but the above still stands. So to actually use the nose spray about sent me into a panic attack
SO I got this cool Vicks decongestant 12hr spray stuff and WOWZA is that stuff amazing. At first I got a Vicks headache from 'you know where' but after that subsided an amazing thing happened..I could breathe! oh how beautiful! My eyeballs still ache, my head still feels like I got hit by a 2x4, and my throat still feels like I swallowed a cactus but..I...can..breathe
Upon this breathing breakthrough I realized my trash severly stinks, which confuses me bc it's not even full, but thank GOD nobody came over! No wonder the dogs were occupied by it. Don't worry, smell isn't permiating my house but you can definatly tell something is not right a foot from the trash can.
This morning both my girls wanted oatmeal, one wanted banana, one wanted apple..I forgot whose was which and I tried to smell them to tell and I couldn't tell. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I whimpered, I laughed, I whimpered again..it was a moment. If they got the wrong oatmeal on the wrong day it would have most definatly been a major meltdown. I still don't know if they got the correct oatmeal, they didn't complain so I guess that's good.
Thank goodness my kids love salad bc they've been having corndogs, mac and cheese, and Ravioli (I do buy the kind that has veggies in the sauce so that's good, right)for the past few days. So all I have to do is throw some salad on their plate and I don't feel guilty anymore and salad is really easy. Thank God for bagged salad.

Now..If you'll excuse me it's time to dope up again :)

Peace, Love, and Nose spray

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Cocktails for everyone..oh..wait..nevermind..Just Congress!

I'm not one to follow a lot of news but One of the big news stories lately is the threat of a Government Shutdown, but what I haven't seen covered very much about this shutdown is the threat of Military not recieving pay. Last week I mentioned it to my parents and even they had no clue. I've seen Social Security talked about on the news but I have yet to see "Oh guess what, if the Government shuts down the Military, to inclue those fighting overseas, will not be getting paid" I was pleasantly surprised to see that Yahoo did post this article this morning:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_government_shutdown

I cannot believe Congress is still BSing with this. It's not the fact that we may lose pay, it's more the issue that Congress has been screwing off, taking vacations, days off, parties, ect all while they should be working on passing a budget. Yes, they've taken numerous week long vacations, had parties, days off ect all since January. Those overseas, dying for our freedoms, are now being told to continue doing their job, without any days off, they just won't get paid for it because Congress is busy having cocktails and Hors d'Ĺ“uvre in Marthas Vineyard and can't be bothered to be serious and pass a budget. Does this sit wrong with ANYONE else?

I did have to laugh though when I came upon this quote in the article:
"the White House sought to put the prospect of a shutdown in terms people would care about, warning even that the beloved National Cherry Blossom Festival Parade in the nation's capital would be wiped out. The Smithsonian Institution and national parks around the country would also be closed."
and of course there is this gem " Tax payments were welcome" yup, that's right folks, You don't get paid but your tax payments are still due!

Luckily we do have savings and I always keep 1/2 of the next paychecks bills put back but it won't last us long. Our savings was for our move this summer and a nestegg for when we ETS, yes, I know, they say we'll get paid back but no telling how long that will take. DFAS isn't exactly the quickest at giving backpay. I worry about those that don't have savings.
A lot of people don't have savings, ect bc they "know" we'll always get paid..Military folks aren't always ones to 'live within their means'
Does anyone honestly think I can call up my mortgage company and tell them they won't be recieving their payment next month bc Congress can't pass a budget and they'll say "ohh no worries, not a problem"
There are those that are FARRR worse off than we are and I really ache for them and worry about how they will manage. We aren't golden by any means but we'll manage.

Even if this had zero effect on me I can honestly say I would feel the same way. It's NOT about money. Its inexcuseable that Congress is screwing around like this, bickering with each other, playing political games and not passing a budget and it has to come to this...especially for our Military who fights 24/7 365 and die everyday!