Seasons of Life

For a long time I was just a mom and a wife. Babies, spit up, formula, tantrums (the kid, not me) That was all that I thought I was and during that time I enjoyed it. I look back now and think fondly of the days where I had a 15 month old and a newborn and Hubs was deployed. Yes, I think fondly of those days. Those were really easy, fun, simple days. Spending my days with my babies. No attitudes, homework, fighting, hitting. I was content in that season of life.

Then came a time when I was 50lbs overweight. 2 toddlers and a soon to be deployed hubs..again. I wasn't happy. I didn't know who I was. What I was. What I wanted. I hated who I was becoming. Which is how this blog got started. I wanted an outlet, I wanted somewhere to 'be' that I fully mattered. That people enjoyed what I had to say. That I could say things besides "quit throwing your food on the floor"

Hubs left and I set out to change my life. Find who I was and what I wanted. I needed to find my voice again. I lost 50lbs, not for anyone BUT myself. I hired a babysitter so that I could have ME time. Everyday as I would go to the gym and run I found a little bit more of myself. I found a little bit more of my voice every mile I ran. I can honestly say I did find myself. I found my voice. I know now what I will stand for and what I won't and I'm not ashamed to be me. I know what I will put up with and what my deal breakers are. Moms, especially, need to not lose themselves. Be selfish. It's OKAY to be selfish! I enjoyed that season of life.

There are seasons in life. There's seasons in marriage. There's good times and bad times. Just because you are going through a 'good time' doesn't mean you got the marriage book of life down, married 2 or 20 years nobody knows it all. Just because you are going through a bad time doesn't mean you are failing. Anyone who has been married more than 3-4 years knows that there are seasons and just because you are in one season doesn't mean that the next day you will be in the same season.

I've been told numerous times that there's a '5 year itch' so to speak, in marriage, where things are rough. Really rough. I believe it. So, what do you do? Do you run away and say screw it all because life is tough. Or do you stick it out, grit your teeth and push through. Kinda like labor.. it can be scary at first, then the pain starts and it gets to the point where you say 'Please kill me now!' The pressure starts and you really really wanna die, It's hard work, Blood, sweat and tears. (unless you had an epi.. pansy! hehe just kidding) so what do you do? You grit your teeth and push through it and at the end is an amazing amazing gift. If 5 year itches are anything like labor then I'm willing to stick it out; to get to that amazing gift because it's WORTH IT! Over and Over again!

Right now I'm going through a tired season. I'm physically tired, mentally tired, tired of crayons and fighting and homework and hitting and attitudes, tired of doing it all for 16 hours a day. It could very well be my hormones. It could very well be that it's the weekend and I'm still 'doing it' and I'm so ready for the weekend but regardless it's time to stick it out.. deal. Get through this season. Push through and don't run away. The reward is great!