Bullying

I just read the most amazing Memoir. Some of you know Dan, over at www.danoah.com Amazing blogger and writer. He just did a piece called Bullied: The Forgotten Memoirs. It was an account of his experience being bullied as a child. It's quite a long read but a good one and well worth the read.

As a mother it pulled on my heartstrings. It made me ache for him as a child. I can honestly say I really haven't given bulling much of a thought until now and I'm ashamed of that. I'm sitting here at the kitchen table while one of my babies is asleep and another is at school and I wonder 'is anyone beig mean to Big girl? Is anyone bullying her? Is, Lord Forbid, she bullying anyone?' I would like to say that I think she would tell me and I would never ever think my child would hurt or be mean to another child. We stress that in our family. You be kind, you be generous, you be patient, you be loving. We never ever hit. If I found out my child was bullying her hide would be t-a-n-n-e-d. She'd have to deal with me, deal with her father, and you better believe at the age of 4, even, I would walk her hiney to that childs house and make her apologize. Aplogize to their parents and Aplogize to the school.

Would she step in if she saw someone being mean to someone else? Would she tell an adult. I would hope so. I would hope and pray she would tell me or her dad if someone were bullying her or anyone else. What if she didn't though? What could I do to prevent that?

I never told my parents about my days of being taunted and teased in middle school. I had a safe, loving home..why didn't I tell? Maybe because I was embarassed, I'm not sure. Mine wasn't near as bad as many have had it. Rude words, jeering, taunts..the reason? All because I didn't wear name brand sport shorts/shoes/shirts to P.E Class. I wasn't the type of girl who cared whether or not I had name brand stuff. Even after the teasing started I still didn't care whether I had the 'right' clothes. I was embarassed that I wasn't perfect. I was embarassed that I didn't fit in. I was embarassed I wasn't 'right'

Why didn't I tell? I was embarassed partly. I also didn't want to cause trouble for my parents. I had sufficient clothes, why ask for $15 shorts just to sweat in and use more of their money? Had I said something yes, they most likely would have gotten me whatever I wanted, But I didn't want to be a burden.

How can we stop this cycle? I try to make sure my home is safe and loving for my kids and that they can always tell me or their father anything but will that be enough? It's our job as parents and adults to protect our kids in any way that we can. It's our job to protect kids, whether they be ours or not. It's our job to stand in the gap when we see things that aren't right and not turn a blind eye to it. If my child were being hurt I would expect an adult seeing it to step in and protect my child. If my child were the one hurting I would expect that same parent to lead my child home by her ear.

Kids don't do the right things all the time. Kids brains aren't fully developed and matured. It's up to the parents to step in. It's up to the parents to be watchful and aware. Use your parental intuition. If you feel like something is amiss, it probably is.

I'm only 24. I don't know it all. I don't have the know all parenting handbook figured out. I do know "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" I do know that should my child be hurt another adult should step in. It's not rocket science. It's common sense.