My Very First Guest Blog

Awhile back I asked my mom to write a guest blog for me. I was curious as to her thought process when she has a daughter married to a Military man. People always hear from the Soldier, family and even the Soldiers parents but rarely have I heard from a woman whose daughter married a man in the Military.

So, without further hesitation...My momma:

Erica asked me to write about what it’s like to have a daughter married to a military man. First of all, I’d like to say that I am very proud of my son-in-law. He has gone to Iraq twice and Afghanistan once. Each deployment was a year long. It’s not easy to be away from your wife and children for that long. I can imagine there is a great deal of loneliness. Any man or woman that goes overseas to fight in our wars is very brave, in my opinion. They are all heroes! But I also look at this through my daughter’s eyes. We talk almost daily, so I know a lot of what she feels and experiences while he’s gone. Army wives are also heroes!

The anguish starts when they know that their husband will be deployed. When they have an actual departure date, it suddenly becomes more “real”. As the day of departure gets closer, sometimes the wives just wants to get the deployment started, so it can be over with. The first deployment came a few months after they got married. Here I am in Kansas, and my daughter is in Texas . . . alone. It was hard enough to watch her move to Texas to get married, but knowing he was with her was comforting. But she did great. She is a real trooper. She decorated their apartment – on a budget – worked on a scrapbook, wrote letters to Josh, sent him care packages, and even came home to visit a time or two. If I remember correctly, there was also a move involved during this deployment.
We helped her move from their apartment to a duplex. It’s kind of funny to think that when Josh came back from Iraq, he wouldn’t know where they lived. Of course he’d seen pictures, but he hadn’t been in his new home yet.
When the second deployment time came, they had a daughter. This deployment would be different. Erica had Lillia to keep her busy and keep her company. Also, she’s pregnant with baby number two. She went through most of this pregnancy by herself. Josh came home in December for the birth. Another girl. He only got to spend a few days with his new daughter before he had to go back to Iraq, so the next six months it’s Erica and her two little girls. She was one busy Momma! I can’t imagine carrying the load of caring for two daughters while my husband is away. Army wives with children have to be both Mommy and Daddy to their children. Not an easy task. And all the time hoping and praying that Daddy comes home safely. I can’t imagine the stress. Don’t forget, there were also a couple of dogs and a cat to take care of. But keeping busy helps the time to pass more quickly.
The third deployment was the most stressful. The girls are one and two years old. Old enough to realize that Daddy is gone. The two year old is old enough to ask about him, which she did every day. Old enough to say, “I miss Daddy” several times a day. Also, Afghanistan was a different story. The place he was stationed wasn’t as safe as when he was in Iraq. So there is added stress. Is my husband safe? Will he come home? Again, I can’t imagine! But, Erica kept very busy.
She took advantage of on-post day care, which is a must! Mom’s need a break! It’s SO hard to be everything to everyone every day and every night, day after day after day. If the girls were sleeping good, it would help, but they each got up at least once during the night . . . every night. I don’t know WHEN Erica slept. She lived life on very little sleep.
Erica and the girls also made some trips back home to Kansas, which we enjoyed very much. Can you imagine driving 9 ½ hours with two little girls in the car? She did it! I tell you, she’s a trooper! And she came in February! We were having a blizzard that day! The worst of the year! And she forgot to pack their coats. They just had light jackets on. So I got out in the horrible weather and bought coats, mittens and hats for everyone. It’s the least I could do! Having a daughter married to a military man has taught me to appreciate not only the military, but also the spouses that wait for them at home.
As she has lived her life during these three deployments, I couldn’t always do much to help. Not in the way I wanted to. Most days I just wished I was by her side, helping her along, carrying part of the tremendous load. But the distance was an issue. But that is how a person grows . . . by doing things on their own.
I have watched her become so strong. And I am so proud of her! I did make several trips to Texas and spend time with her and the girls and try to help out. And I was always available to talk on the phone or communicate through e-mail. I hope it helped her just to know that I was there for her and that I was listening and that I care. I was there to laugh with her, cry with her, to encourage her. Yes, life is tough. But she is tougher!!


Thank you for writing this Mom! I love you! Thank you for all your support and love throughout everything! And Yup, I did drive 9 hours in a blizzard..eh it wasn't that bad, got a little tricky when I couldn't see the road anymore but drink water drive on. Hooah lol and yes, I still feel like a dork for forgetting coats, but that was the trip when I had no water, busted pipe, flooded bathroom, broken water heater, sick kid, and a speeding ticket all within 24 hours of that trip..I'm just glad I didn't forget a kid. haha