1. You only need 1 pair of underware per day unless there is a dire emergency...there's no need to get out 5 pairs and toss them around the house
2. Do not, under any circumstance, pour your milk/water -into- your food while eating dinner. Porkchop soup is NOT good.
3. Do not touch your sister in any way. Just keep your bloomin' hands to yourself.
4. Do not swing on my curtains. They are not a trapeze and you are not a monkey.
5. Do not bite, lick or 'roar' at your sister. It only scares her and causes fights.
6. Do not put your bare bottom on any part of your father or I.
7. Do not put your bare bottom on your plate. (don't ask how they got naked..it magically happens so don't judge)
8. Do not sit naked on your sister
9. Basically..let's not be naked..k? thanks.
10. Bedtime is not the time to suddenly realize you are dying of thirst and/or need to go to the bathroom.
11. While mysteriously naked do not run out the front door while I am dealing with your sister and yell "HI BOYS!" That gives your father heart attacks.
2 comments:
IT DOES give me heart attacks. I DO NOT need 6 year old boys calling on my girl. Just so everybody knows...I have a .38 special revolver sitting within arms reach AT ALL TIMES!! And i can put 7 rounds 3" apart at 50 feet. Boys beware!
Great read. Laughed several times. I am STILL laughing at the last one. Crap. I forget. You aren't supposed to laugh at other peoples' kids because then you're kids will pay you back through their antics. OOPS!
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