I think I can I think I can

says the little engine called "The Military Wife" :-)
As the impending deployment gets closer I am left wondering "Can I do it?" "Am I strong enough" And then today as I was driving home I got this overwhelming feeling of "I -can- do it, I really honestly can do it." I can't tell you -how- I'm going to do it, bc I don't know. All I know is that I can do it. It was a quiet whisper deep down. I kinda have to, My kids depend on me. But once this realization hit me now all I want to do is cry. One would think that coming to such a realization would make me happier, but it doesn't. I'm so so sad, because I don't want to do it.
I love my husband more now than ever. And the day he leaves it will feel like my heart is being ripped out. I so so so dread coming home to this empty house.
I just have to remember, I can do it. I have to do it. The year will pass, then he'll be home.
It'll just be me and my girls for a year. We'll go to the park, go swimming, watch all the chick flicks we want.
I always tell BD that I'm going to attach myself to his leg like a 2 yr old does when they don't want daddy to leave lol

I wish time would just stop.