so..heres how my weekend has gone thusfar.
Yesterday, decided to be an awesome mom and took the kids to the park on the spur of the moment. well, lana climbed too far and got stuck on those play gym tower things, so I crawl up there, get her and stand up, which was my first problem, I failed to realize that above me, was another level of jungle gym-ness, and I hit my head..really hard, so I stumble down, all dizzy, feelin like my head was on fire. I almost called josh but didnt bc I knew he was busy and I felt semi-ok, minus the throbbing head and dizzynes..so get home, feed kids lunch and down for a nap they go, I end up falling asleep *weird for me* and when I wake up I couldn't see straight, noise hurt, light hurt...yaa kinda gave myself a mild concussion. I am feeling a bit better tonight, can see straight, just light and noise are horrible. I just wanna crawl in bed and pull the covers up and stay forever. which is why, at the moment, Im in the bedroom, on the bed, lights out, and blinds pulled.
annnnnnnnnnnnd today...We have to go buy all the stuff for BD's tough box for deployment. It sucks...very very much. I have to help my husband prepare to leave us..but I can't sit back and refuse to help, bc I can't let him leave without knowing he has everything he needs. so..If you happened to see a crazy chick, about to cry (and at some points crying) in the fan/TP/soap/deoderant aisles at the PX, that was me. You'd think after 2 deployments I wouldn't be bawling in the envelope section, but the moment I handed him that box of envelopes, I did indeed cry. I hated it. I hated every minute of it. And I guarentee you that in the next few days, when he gets out his bags and starts packing *yes, they pack weeks in advance* I will be hiding in the bedroom and crying.
I dread that day...I dread it with a passion. and there will only be more reminders to come.
This is earth shattering for me, this blog. Nobody knows the emotions I feel or how I'm doing bc I dont share it *in regards to deployment* I have rarely shared how I feel, and If I did, it was with very little info. I don't want people to pity me. I don't want people to feel sorry for me. Theres no reason too. Every job has its downfalls..this..is ours

Well bloggies..I think my eyes and brain have had all they can take.
*MUAH*