Here I sit.. day 32.. and I'm eating Whole 30 approved chicken salad..with whole 30 Mayo.. on Spinach leaves.. and here's why... I woke up on day 32.. .Today.. with the worst migraine I have ever had in my life. I'm talking light hurting, hit with a steel pole, please nobody talk to me Migraine.
On day 31 the only non Whole 30 approved foods I had was 1/2 a biscuit with strawberry Jam, a PB&J and a small piece of cake. My body was not happy. And I wasn't prepared for that. I'm not sure what it was..whether it was the grains or the sugar or both. But it hit me like a ton of bricks. That cake or PB&J was not worth the pain I had today.
Today all I wanted was my "Good" food. J and I did go out to lunch today at Olive Garden.. I stopped myself after 1 and a half bread sticks and half my lasagna... It was a splurge I was willing to take a hit for. It was good... It was not "Oh my gosh, take me Jesus" good, though.. as I remember it being. I've gotta find the right balance and I wasn't prepared for that. At around 2pm after our big lunch I felt the all too familiar Carb Coma come on. Something I Haven't felt for a month. It sucked. I hated feeling exhausted... Because I ate some sub par food.
My other struggle has been taking the time to prepare food for myself now that I don't -have- to. My mind says "I'll just snack on the kids' pancake.. I don't have time to make anything" I think of everything that's waiting for me. Bathing 3 kids, vacuuming, dishes, laundry, mowing the yard,... It's all calling me. Every mom feels it. The pressure. The kids need this or that.. I don't have time to make myself anything.. I have to put myself first. Before the laundry. Essentially I am telling myself I am worth less than a load of stinky clothes. Woah. I am telling myself I am worth less than a load of stinky clothes. That puts things in perspective huh? Yet Here I sit with all the weight of everything that needs done pushing down on me. The little voice in my head telling me I dont have time to prepare something because Lillia's out of clean pants.. and the yard really needs mowed.. and the trash needs taken to the curb.. and the carpet needs to be vacuumed...and I really ought to mop too.
Day 32 and I haven't found a balance yet. I really hope I have balanced today correctly.
1. I am important and deserve good food
2. Is that splurge worth whatever revolt my body may do?
3. Am I more important than some dirty clothes.
Monday, August 3, 2015
Saturday, August 1, 2015
Day 30...Holy smokes..did I really do it?!
Today is Day 30!! Cooking Whole 30 has become second nature to me.. so second nature that when I went to make my grocery list for the next couple weeks 99% of the meals were either Whole 30 or Paleo because none of our "normal" recipes sound good. Cheese, cream, pasta... Not appealing in the least.
So...30 day recap....
I've lost a grand total of 15 lbs. FIFTEEN!! I was originally hoping for 10. At the 2 week mark I was 14 lbs lost. After that I had hoped to get to 20 lbs but for some reason the remaining two weeks I only lost a pound. I continued to eat clean and I didn't starve myself, just as I had done the first 2 weeks. All in all, I'm amazed! I did no exercise whatsoever. Super pleased. I now have only 15 more pounds to get to my goal weight.
Non scale victories: I'm sleeping better than I ever have. I have more energy than I ever have. I no longer have the 2pm crash. Sure I get tired and worn out but I no longer crash. I'm happier. My moods are better. I had zero PMS. I haven't felt bloated or had any stomach pain in a month.
SO many victories. When I started this I was completely and totally scared. I had never done anything like this before. In Kansas our meals are made up of biscuits, gravy..lots of gravy...cornbread..corn...
It's actually frowned upon to not eat corn on the cob during the summer... I got a couple "You can't eat CORN?!?!" responses. haha And to step out and completely change everything I ate was really hard and really scary.
This was, overall, one of the -best- things I have ever done for myself. I'm a better mom.. a better wife.. I get more done in the day..
Budget-wise: Our budget in July was actually better than it has ever been. We ended the month with excess funds and that never happens!
What I've learned: Food doesn't control me. I don't have to eat food that is in front of me. Sure, biscuits and pancakes are good but I don't -need- them. Food fuels me and that's it's only job. Food's job isn't to make me happy.
Watermelon, trying new veggies, eating zucchini fresh from a garden... -that- is exciting.
Moving forward we've decided we will be eating an 80/20 diet.. 80% whole 30/Paleo, 20% regular diet... Some things will never come back, the coffee creamer for instance, eating in the evenings, grains will be much more limited for me overall
Breakfast today was 2 fried eggs, 1/2 an avocado, grapes, and some roasted potatoes
Lunch was later but I had a chicken sausage, tomato slices, and a nectarine
Dinner will be some pork chops, brussels, and some zucchini
I see another whole 30 in the very near future!!
So...30 day recap....
I've lost a grand total of 15 lbs. FIFTEEN!! I was originally hoping for 10. At the 2 week mark I was 14 lbs lost. After that I had hoped to get to 20 lbs but for some reason the remaining two weeks I only lost a pound. I continued to eat clean and I didn't starve myself, just as I had done the first 2 weeks. All in all, I'm amazed! I did no exercise whatsoever. Super pleased. I now have only 15 more pounds to get to my goal weight.
Non scale victories: I'm sleeping better than I ever have. I have more energy than I ever have. I no longer have the 2pm crash. Sure I get tired and worn out but I no longer crash. I'm happier. My moods are better. I had zero PMS. I haven't felt bloated or had any stomach pain in a month.
SO many victories. When I started this I was completely and totally scared. I had never done anything like this before. In Kansas our meals are made up of biscuits, gravy..lots of gravy...cornbread..corn...
It's actually frowned upon to not eat corn on the cob during the summer... I got a couple "You can't eat CORN?!?!" responses. haha And to step out and completely change everything I ate was really hard and really scary.
This was, overall, one of the -best- things I have ever done for myself. I'm a better mom.. a better wife.. I get more done in the day..
Budget-wise: Our budget in July was actually better than it has ever been. We ended the month with excess funds and that never happens!
What I've learned: Food doesn't control me. I don't have to eat food that is in front of me. Sure, biscuits and pancakes are good but I don't -need- them. Food fuels me and that's it's only job. Food's job isn't to make me happy.
Watermelon, trying new veggies, eating zucchini fresh from a garden... -that- is exciting.
Moving forward we've decided we will be eating an 80/20 diet.. 80% whole 30/Paleo, 20% regular diet... Some things will never come back, the coffee creamer for instance, eating in the evenings, grains will be much more limited for me overall
Breakfast today was 2 fried eggs, 1/2 an avocado, grapes, and some roasted potatoes
Lunch was later but I had a chicken sausage, tomato slices, and a nectarine
Dinner will be some pork chops, brussels, and some zucchini
I see another whole 30 in the very near future!!
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
Days 23-26
Things are going pretty well.
I did have a major slip up but I'm not beating myself up.. I'm a grown adult and I made a conscience decision knowing full well what I was doing and honestly, I don't regret it. Not. One. Bit. I was 24 days into Whole 30. My cheat came after a 4 hour trip in the ER... sound barrier screaming from a 6 year old... an extremely rude nurse.. knives... shots... a meth head... a criminal.. and an ER that screwed up a prescription. Wow.. I made that sound totally more dramatic than it was. Our middle daughter got bitten by a tick about 6 weeks ago and on Sunday she was complaining of leg pain and showed me where the tick bit her. That bite was so incredibly infected and I wouldn't have been able to get her to the dr until 24 hours later so made the decision to take her to the ER.. Shes just fine now but it was quite a dramatic experience and we both left in tears. My nerves were absolutely shot. I had to hold her as they treated her and she screamed directly in my face in such a decibel I have never heard before.. It was an ear shattering 5 minutes of screaming. Poor girl! Anywho..we left there and then had drama with the pharmacy.. and when we got home I once again burst into tears..My whole body was shaking from nerves. Mind you during all this I had a bed ridden husband and 2 other kids to make sure were taken care of. My nerves were so incredibly shot and I made the decision to have a hard cider after the kids were in bed. Yup. I did. No regret.
Food wise things are going great. I have been trying to think of what my first food will be after whole 30 and honestly I can't think of anything I am dying for. I am not having any huge cravings for anything. We are less than a week until we are done and I don't want it to end. I don't miss eating grains, sugars, etc. I'm enjoying how I feel and how my clothes fit. I'm enjoying how I look in them.
Last night we had spaghetti squash, homemade sauce, and turkey meatballs. Probably, by far, my favorite Whole 30 meal. I don't miss spaghetti at all! And I've always said I should have been born into an Italian family. I could eat pasta and garlic bread and sauce all day long. It's the stuff I dream of at night. After the last 26 days the carbs have no hold on me anymore. Sure, they are good..but I don't desire them. I love the fact that I can eat a huge plate of food and leave the table and not feel bloated or overly full in the least. We all know the "Thanksgiving feeling" I felt that more often than I'd like to share..and not just at Thanksgiving.... I leave the table with zero stomach pain, zero bloat, zero "I need unbutton my pants" feeling. I leave content, happy, and pleasantly full.
It's becoming natural for me to cook Whole 30 foods. One thing I am not used to is salads. *gag* I've never been a huge salad person and Whole 30 hasn't changed that. I am just not a fan of salads. I'd rather get my veggies other ways.
Overall, thus far........... Best thing I've ever done for me. It was overwhelming and scary at first but I'm so glad I embarked on this journey
I did have a major slip up but I'm not beating myself up.. I'm a grown adult and I made a conscience decision knowing full well what I was doing and honestly, I don't regret it. Not. One. Bit. I was 24 days into Whole 30. My cheat came after a 4 hour trip in the ER... sound barrier screaming from a 6 year old... an extremely rude nurse.. knives... shots... a meth head... a criminal.. and an ER that screwed up a prescription. Wow.. I made that sound totally more dramatic than it was. Our middle daughter got bitten by a tick about 6 weeks ago and on Sunday she was complaining of leg pain and showed me where the tick bit her. That bite was so incredibly infected and I wouldn't have been able to get her to the dr until 24 hours later so made the decision to take her to the ER.. Shes just fine now but it was quite a dramatic experience and we both left in tears. My nerves were absolutely shot. I had to hold her as they treated her and she screamed directly in my face in such a decibel I have never heard before.. It was an ear shattering 5 minutes of screaming. Poor girl! Anywho..we left there and then had drama with the pharmacy.. and when we got home I once again burst into tears..My whole body was shaking from nerves. Mind you during all this I had a bed ridden husband and 2 other kids to make sure were taken care of. My nerves were so incredibly shot and I made the decision to have a hard cider after the kids were in bed. Yup. I did. No regret.
Food wise things are going great. I have been trying to think of what my first food will be after whole 30 and honestly I can't think of anything I am dying for. I am not having any huge cravings for anything. We are less than a week until we are done and I don't want it to end. I don't miss eating grains, sugars, etc. I'm enjoying how I feel and how my clothes fit. I'm enjoying how I look in them.
Last night we had spaghetti squash, homemade sauce, and turkey meatballs. Probably, by far, my favorite Whole 30 meal. I don't miss spaghetti at all! And I've always said I should have been born into an Italian family. I could eat pasta and garlic bread and sauce all day long. It's the stuff I dream of at night. After the last 26 days the carbs have no hold on me anymore. Sure, they are good..but I don't desire them. I love the fact that I can eat a huge plate of food and leave the table and not feel bloated or overly full in the least. We all know the "Thanksgiving feeling" I felt that more often than I'd like to share..and not just at Thanksgiving.... I leave the table with zero stomach pain, zero bloat, zero "I need unbutton my pants" feeling. I leave content, happy, and pleasantly full.
It's becoming natural for me to cook Whole 30 foods. One thing I am not used to is salads. *gag* I've never been a huge salad person and Whole 30 hasn't changed that. I am just not a fan of salads. I'd rather get my veggies other ways.
Overall, thus far........... Best thing I've ever done for me. It was overwhelming and scary at first but I'm so glad I embarked on this journey
Friday, July 24, 2015
Day 22
So I kinda fell off the blogging wagon. Sorry.. I was buried under piles of laundry. I've safely made it to the top though.
Here we are.. Solidly on day 22. It's going pretty well. I am starting to get a bit bored of food, especially lunch. Some of my faves, though, are, Hamburger hash.. Hamburger, potatoes, any veggies you wanna throw in and just cook until potatoes are tender then top with a fried egg and green chili sauce.. amazeballs! I'm eating a lot of eggs, which I don't mind. I'm not a cereal/oatmeal person anyways so most days I would just skip breakfast instead of preparing something, like eggs, for myself. So I'm kind of enjoying *Having* to make breakfast every day. I eat apples with almond butter often.. I top it with coconut and almonds. Super yummy.
Last night I hit a wall.. I just could NOT make dinner one.more.time. We ended up ordering the kids pizza and then J and I had a gift card to Chilis so we ordered from there... He had salmon and I Had a bacon burger, no cheese, no bun, no mayo. I was very sad to see that the ONLY vegetable Chilis offered was corn and broccoli.
We also eat a lot of bunless hamburgers and tacos. We make taco meat and then eat it on lettuce. I think next time we'll try cabbage instead.
We grill more of our food now.
One day my goal was to absolutely not cook ANY part of dinner in my kitchen.. We had steaks, veggies, and pineapple all on the grill. It was delish! And my kitchen stayed clean.
Today we went to our local market and found some amazing deals on fruits/veggies.
I really love eating like this and to top it off..our budget is better this month than it has ever been.
My sleep is amazing. Most days my energy is pretty good. I'm happier. I don't have a constant "fog" around me. Neither Josh or I have felt bloated after eating in the last 22 days. I have zero cravings for soda. I feel more confident. After 3 years of not being able to drop any weight no matter how much I tried it is absolutely mind blowing to me that I can be full, eat a good amount of food, and STILL lose 12 lbs in 14 days with zero working out. I plan to start hitting the gym again once the kids are in school and this was absolutely the jump start I needed.
Tonights dinner will be roast, Brussels, and probably avocado.. I'm not sure. I found a great deal on Brussels at the market today so I'm going to attempt to cook them. I've only ever had them frozen, in a package so it'll be interesting if I like fresh ones.
For lunch I stole some of the roast out of the crockpot and had cauli-mash, carrots and some unsweetened applesauce.
Here we are.. Solidly on day 22. It's going pretty well. I am starting to get a bit bored of food, especially lunch. Some of my faves, though, are, Hamburger hash.. Hamburger, potatoes, any veggies you wanna throw in and just cook until potatoes are tender then top with a fried egg and green chili sauce.. amazeballs! I'm eating a lot of eggs, which I don't mind. I'm not a cereal/oatmeal person anyways so most days I would just skip breakfast instead of preparing something, like eggs, for myself. So I'm kind of enjoying *Having* to make breakfast every day. I eat apples with almond butter often.. I top it with coconut and almonds. Super yummy.
Last night I hit a wall.. I just could NOT make dinner one.more.time. We ended up ordering the kids pizza and then J and I had a gift card to Chilis so we ordered from there... He had salmon and I Had a bacon burger, no cheese, no bun, no mayo. I was very sad to see that the ONLY vegetable Chilis offered was corn and broccoli.
We also eat a lot of bunless hamburgers and tacos. We make taco meat and then eat it on lettuce. I think next time we'll try cabbage instead.
We grill more of our food now.
One day my goal was to absolutely not cook ANY part of dinner in my kitchen.. We had steaks, veggies, and pineapple all on the grill. It was delish! And my kitchen stayed clean.
Today we went to our local market and found some amazing deals on fruits/veggies.
I really love eating like this and to top it off..our budget is better this month than it has ever been.
My sleep is amazing. Most days my energy is pretty good. I'm happier. I don't have a constant "fog" around me. Neither Josh or I have felt bloated after eating in the last 22 days. I have zero cravings for soda. I feel more confident. After 3 years of not being able to drop any weight no matter how much I tried it is absolutely mind blowing to me that I can be full, eat a good amount of food, and STILL lose 12 lbs in 14 days with zero working out. I plan to start hitting the gym again once the kids are in school and this was absolutely the jump start I needed.
Tonights dinner will be roast, Brussels, and probably avocado.. I'm not sure. I found a great deal on Brussels at the market today so I'm going to attempt to cook them. I've only ever had them frozen, in a package so it'll be interesting if I like fresh ones.
For lunch I stole some of the roast out of the crockpot and had cauli-mash, carrots and some unsweetened applesauce.
Friday, July 17, 2015
Day 15
Breakfast was scrambled eggs with green chili sauce, leftover roast chicken, leftover sauteed veggies from a couple days ago, and some watermelon.
I woke up feeling wonderful!! First night of solid sleep in about a week.. Due to J's surgery we were getting up 1-2 times a night so he could eat and take more meds but last night was the first night he didn't take any all night.
We were a military family for 8 years..for 8 years I knew exactly how much our paycheck would be and could fully budget 3-4 days before we even got paid. The transition from that to the fact our paycheck can be different every time we get paid is very hard on me. I'm a planner, I budget... I'm very number focused... We also get different pay checks at different times every month. It's been the hardest part of transition.. Not knowing until we actually get the money, how much we'll get or IF we'll even get it. For the past 3 1/2 years I don't sleep very well the night before we get paid. I'm up 2,3,4 times a night checking to see if we got paid and how much..then after I see it's in our account I lay in bed and budget (in my head) quickly. It's a huge stress for me. As a one income family I have to be on.the.dot. with the budget or else we're in for a world of hurt. It's my job to make everything "work".. 99% of the time I'm on the dot and I like it that way. There's no room for uncertainties.. Nights before we get paid are very stressful for me. Waiting on money..that is a different amount every month..and that comes at different times every month is probably one of my biggest stresses. So for 3 1/2 years my sleep is horrible the night we are to get paid...I always slept fairly light and I would wake up and the stress would hit me and the cycle continued all night.
For the first time ... in 3 1/2 years.... I slept last night..the night before we got paid. I actually slept all night and it was an incredibly deep sleep. I woke up refreshed and remembered "OH..it's payday"..
HUGE!
I can feel my stress is lower.. My day to day stress is still very high but the constant feeling of being overwhelmed and stressed and unhappy on top of my daily stress is gone.
We grilled every bit of our dinner tonight. Steaks, veggie kabobs, and pineapple. Super yummy and my kitchen stayed clean! yay! Win win!
Day 15... Rocked it.
I woke up feeling wonderful!! First night of solid sleep in about a week.. Due to J's surgery we were getting up 1-2 times a night so he could eat and take more meds but last night was the first night he didn't take any all night.
We were a military family for 8 years..for 8 years I knew exactly how much our paycheck would be and could fully budget 3-4 days before we even got paid. The transition from that to the fact our paycheck can be different every time we get paid is very hard on me. I'm a planner, I budget... I'm very number focused... We also get different pay checks at different times every month. It's been the hardest part of transition.. Not knowing until we actually get the money, how much we'll get or IF we'll even get it. For the past 3 1/2 years I don't sleep very well the night before we get paid. I'm up 2,3,4 times a night checking to see if we got paid and how much..then after I see it's in our account I lay in bed and budget (in my head) quickly. It's a huge stress for me. As a one income family I have to be on.the.dot. with the budget or else we're in for a world of hurt. It's my job to make everything "work".. 99% of the time I'm on the dot and I like it that way. There's no room for uncertainties.. Nights before we get paid are very stressful for me. Waiting on money..that is a different amount every month..and that comes at different times every month is probably one of my biggest stresses. So for 3 1/2 years my sleep is horrible the night we are to get paid...I always slept fairly light and I would wake up and the stress would hit me and the cycle continued all night.
For the first time ... in 3 1/2 years.... I slept last night..the night before we got paid. I actually slept all night and it was an incredibly deep sleep. I woke up refreshed and remembered "OH..it's payday"..
HUGE!
I can feel my stress is lower.. My day to day stress is still very high but the constant feeling of being overwhelmed and stressed and unhappy on top of my daily stress is gone.
We grilled every bit of our dinner tonight. Steaks, veggie kabobs, and pineapple. Super yummy and my kitchen stayed clean! yay! Win win!
Day 15... Rocked it.
Thursday, July 16, 2015
Days 12-14
Today is day 14.. I'm almost 1/2 way done.
It's been a difficult few days .. With J's surgery, being away from home.. I was very tempted. But no cheating..no giving in.
I had a bad bad craving for pizza last night.. I was tired, I wasn't feeling well, I was taking care of a husband who just had surgery plus 3 kids.. I was D-O-N-E. Thankfully I didn't give in and made a delicious "spaghetti" It rocked my world!!!! Spaghetti squash, Whole30 approved sauce and Italian sausage. It was amazing and totally hit my spot.
I kind of broke the rules... I had to go to the Dr this morning and I had to weigh,.....
When I began this I was hoping to lose 10 lbs total... I was hoping to see 5lbs lost on the scale at the dr office................
In 2 weeks I have lost 12 pounds!! 12!! I am so so super shocked and overwhelmed. I can't believe it. I was eating 12 lbs of JUNK in just two weeks. Thats just GROSS. I can't believe it.
I have been trying for 3 years to lose weight and no matter what i haven't been able to..through running a 5k..working out every day.. I just could NOT lose weight.
Otherwise I feel amazing. I'm sleeping well. My sleep is so much deeper than it has ever been. I have lots of energy.. I don't even drink coffee every morning because I don't need it.
Tiger Blood.
It's been a difficult few days .. With J's surgery, being away from home.. I was very tempted. But no cheating..no giving in.
I had a bad bad craving for pizza last night.. I was tired, I wasn't feeling well, I was taking care of a husband who just had surgery plus 3 kids.. I was D-O-N-E. Thankfully I didn't give in and made a delicious "spaghetti" It rocked my world!!!! Spaghetti squash, Whole30 approved sauce and Italian sausage. It was amazing and totally hit my spot.
I kind of broke the rules... I had to go to the Dr this morning and I had to weigh,.....
When I began this I was hoping to lose 10 lbs total... I was hoping to see 5lbs lost on the scale at the dr office................
In 2 weeks I have lost 12 pounds!! 12!! I am so so super shocked and overwhelmed. I can't believe it. I was eating 12 lbs of JUNK in just two weeks. Thats just GROSS. I can't believe it.
I have been trying for 3 years to lose weight and no matter what i haven't been able to..through running a 5k..working out every day.. I just could NOT lose weight.
Otherwise I feel amazing. I'm sleeping well. My sleep is so much deeper than it has ever been. I have lots of energy.. I don't even drink coffee every morning because I don't need it.
Tiger Blood.
Monday, July 13, 2015
Day 11............ I must confess... I ate a chip.
So far so good!
We took an impromptu night away last weekend and I didn't *Purposely* cheat on Whole 30 (I'll explain that later) ,... I was SUPER proud of myself.. The Orange Leaf Frozen Yogurt was SO tempting.. like.. way way tempting.. The bread at Outback was another HUGE temptation.
The food I had maybe wasn't the *best* but it -was- all Whole 30 Approved.
I did have one small problem.... We were in Whole Foods getting some food for breakfast and they had a sample of Guacamole and I thought "OH! YAH! I can have guacamole".. Sooo I took a chip..scooped a big dollop of Guacamole on there and munched away.. Man it was good guacamole........... We continued walking and I gave the girls samples of veggie chips and they asked if I was having one.. I told them no, I can't have...............................and it hit me....... I stood there in Whole foods and said...louder than I maybe should have .. "NOOO!! I ATE A CHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Of course J is all like "ya I saw that".. Dude.. WHY didn't you smack it out of my hand!?!? "well I figured you knew what you were doing" .. ya.. I don't. apparently. It was completely 100% unconscious and it didn't hit me until 3-4 minutes later that I ate a chip.. *sigh*
Anyways.. I'm overall very pleased with this weekend! Not one on purpose cheat.
We've tried spaghetti squash for the first time...even the kids.. Can't say it's my total favorite but.. it's alright.
I'm not struggling with hunger anymore except for in the evenings, which was my main snacking time.
Mentally..I've kinda hit a wall. My hands have gone back to hurting over the past 5 days and I'm not sure why. It's a downer as it was the one thing that was huge for me to fix. Overall I kinda feel like a whale..,...I hope by the end all of this will level out.
We're getting ready to head out again tonight for another night away. J is having surgery tomorrow so we will be staying with his parents for the night and then his surgery tomorrow. This time I have food prepped..snack bags of carrots, Larabars, apples... ect.. While I'm at the surgery center waiting.
I've also prepped some food for this week. J will be on bed rest for 2 weeks and then in a boot for 3 weeks ..so due to the nature of his job he will be home for a total of 5 weeks.. so I needed to get ahead of the game for this week at least and have some quick/easy meals.. I boiled some eggs, riced some cauli-flower.. I plan to cook a whole chicken and portion that up.
I'm learning that being prepared is key!
We took an impromptu night away last weekend and I didn't *Purposely* cheat on Whole 30 (I'll explain that later) ,... I was SUPER proud of myself.. The Orange Leaf Frozen Yogurt was SO tempting.. like.. way way tempting.. The bread at Outback was another HUGE temptation.
The food I had maybe wasn't the *best* but it -was- all Whole 30 Approved.
I did have one small problem.... We were in Whole Foods getting some food for breakfast and they had a sample of Guacamole and I thought "OH! YAH! I can have guacamole".. Sooo I took a chip..scooped a big dollop of Guacamole on there and munched away.. Man it was good guacamole........... We continued walking and I gave the girls samples of veggie chips and they asked if I was having one.. I told them no, I can't have...............................and it hit me....... I stood there in Whole foods and said...louder than I maybe should have .. "NOOO!! I ATE A CHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Of course J is all like "ya I saw that".. Dude.. WHY didn't you smack it out of my hand!?!? "well I figured you knew what you were doing" .. ya.. I don't. apparently. It was completely 100% unconscious and it didn't hit me until 3-4 minutes later that I ate a chip.. *sigh*
Anyways.. I'm overall very pleased with this weekend! Not one on purpose cheat.
We've tried spaghetti squash for the first time...even the kids.. Can't say it's my total favorite but.. it's alright.
I'm not struggling with hunger anymore except for in the evenings, which was my main snacking time.
Mentally..I've kinda hit a wall. My hands have gone back to hurting over the past 5 days and I'm not sure why. It's a downer as it was the one thing that was huge for me to fix. Overall I kinda feel like a whale..,...I hope by the end all of this will level out.
We're getting ready to head out again tonight for another night away. J is having surgery tomorrow so we will be staying with his parents for the night and then his surgery tomorrow. This time I have food prepped..snack bags of carrots, Larabars, apples... ect.. While I'm at the surgery center waiting.
I've also prepped some food for this week. J will be on bed rest for 2 weeks and then in a boot for 3 weeks ..so due to the nature of his job he will be home for a total of 5 weeks.. so I needed to get ahead of the game for this week at least and have some quick/easy meals.. I boiled some eggs, riced some cauli-flower.. I plan to cook a whole chicken and portion that up.
I'm learning that being prepared is key!
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
Day 5/6
Day 5 was a tricky day... I really bulked up and ate a lot of breakfast because Wes had 3 hours of therapy and I knew food wouldn't be available. I made an avocado egg bake. Take 1/2 an avocado and put an egg in the middle then bake for 25 mins. It was super good. I didn't think I'd like it because..well..hot avocado..yuck. But it was really good. I had some bacon, yes I found Whole 30 approved bacon. and a large bowl of watermelon/cantaloupe.
It kept me full and for the first time in a long time I didn't have the dreaded 2pm "I just need to sleep now" crash. Therapy days are hard. They are very exhausting, mentally and physically and I was really worried how it would go yesterday. Happy to say it went fabulous and I felt great all day.
Dinner was turkey burgers with avocado. Not the best because I normally have a "filler" like bread crumbs to thicken the turkey up and I couldn't use any of that so I didn't like the consistency.
Lunches are pretty much the same.. a stir-fry of sorts. A meat and then an assortment of veggies all sauteed together.
Day 6..so far so good. Feeling great. Ring is lose. Hands not swollen or hurt in the least. I'm even starting to feel a difference in some of my tighter clothes fitting better. I haven't dared to step on a scale for fear I would get cocky and allow myself a treat.
My energy is great.. sleeping really well.
I feel really good.
I tried Cauli-rice tonight. Pretty good! It was a nice alternative to rice.
I'm learning that just because I want to eat, doesn't mean I need to. I'm learning that when I want to eat I need to stop, slow down, and find out the real cause.. Am I *really* hungry? or am I stressed? Do I need to rest for a minute? Do I need to drink some water? I don't *need* to snack in the evenings. I'm learning that grains and sugar and the occasional wine make my body feel bad..which is it? all 3? just 1? Is it an issue of over consumption? I don't know the answer to that right now.
Day 6 and I'm really glad I'm doing this!
It kept me full and for the first time in a long time I didn't have the dreaded 2pm "I just need to sleep now" crash. Therapy days are hard. They are very exhausting, mentally and physically and I was really worried how it would go yesterday. Happy to say it went fabulous and I felt great all day.
Dinner was turkey burgers with avocado. Not the best because I normally have a "filler" like bread crumbs to thicken the turkey up and I couldn't use any of that so I didn't like the consistency.
Lunches are pretty much the same.. a stir-fry of sorts. A meat and then an assortment of veggies all sauteed together.
Day 6..so far so good. Feeling great. Ring is lose. Hands not swollen or hurt in the least. I'm even starting to feel a difference in some of my tighter clothes fitting better. I haven't dared to step on a scale for fear I would get cocky and allow myself a treat.
My energy is great.. sleeping really well.
I feel really good.
I tried Cauli-rice tonight. Pretty good! It was a nice alternative to rice.
I'm learning that just because I want to eat, doesn't mean I need to. I'm learning that when I want to eat I need to stop, slow down, and find out the real cause.. Am I *really* hungry? or am I stressed? Do I need to rest for a minute? Do I need to drink some water? I don't *need* to snack in the evenings. I'm learning that grains and sugar and the occasional wine make my body feel bad..which is it? all 3? just 1? Is it an issue of over consumption? I don't know the answer to that right now.
Day 6 and I'm really glad I'm doing this!
Monday, July 6, 2015
Days 3 and 4. Also HUGE progress that my body is changing for the better!
Day 3 dawned and I felt like I had downed a fifth in the night. My head was pounding, my teeth hurt, I still had the jello limb syndrome. After I got up and ate though I felt 75% better. Breakfast was 2 hard boiled eggs, sauteed squash, 1/2 an avocado, and watermelon. I feel like I'm starting to get a better grip on how much I should eat.
Another huge thing on day 3... I woke up and my hands weren't swollen!! PEOPLE! This.IS.HUGE. I wake up every morning and my hands are so swollen they are stiff and I couldn't get my rings off if I tried, it's painful! It's not uncommon for me to get up at some point in the night and take off my rings because my hands are already so swollen. Woke up, day 3, and my rings were able to be turned on my finger!! I'm seriously so in shock! This is huge!! 3 days, just 3 days and my hands don't hurt this morning! Major victory!
Dinner was baked chicken, roasted sweet potatoes and fresh steam broccoli. I have always, always, always hated sweet potatoes and tonight I tried 3 pieces... (I still don't like them) But I tried them! yay me!!
Day 4 dawned and not only were my hands not swollen, my ring was lose!! Crazy!! This morning was a smoothie. I was very watchful of my portions.. Large handful of spinach, blackberries, almond butter and coconut milk. I also had a hard boiled egg and 1/2 an avocado. We were at the park this morning and by the time we got home at noon I was having HUGE hunger issues. I can't seem to manage my hunger today. I feel like I'm over eating. Lunch was leftover baked chicken with squash, broccoli, and 1 small potato all sauteed and some watermelon.
We had our first dinner out tonight... I got a strawberry grilled chicken salad. Maybe 1/2 tsp dressing which was a vinaigrette and I'm sure it wasn't whole 30 approved. I didn't like the taste..salad was great though and not a bad combo of healthy fats, with walnuts in it. All in all I'm really proud of the choice I made.
Felt great today besides the worlds worst caffeine headache. I hope tomorrow is better, hunger-wise. I couldn't seem to get full today.. had a couple snacks...
All in all.. feeling great for day 4!
Another huge thing on day 3... I woke up and my hands weren't swollen!! PEOPLE! This.IS.HUGE. I wake up every morning and my hands are so swollen they are stiff and I couldn't get my rings off if I tried, it's painful! It's not uncommon for me to get up at some point in the night and take off my rings because my hands are already so swollen. Woke up, day 3, and my rings were able to be turned on my finger!! I'm seriously so in shock! This is huge!! 3 days, just 3 days and my hands don't hurt this morning! Major victory!
Dinner was baked chicken, roasted sweet potatoes and fresh steam broccoli. I have always, always, always hated sweet potatoes and tonight I tried 3 pieces... (I still don't like them) But I tried them! yay me!!
Day 4 dawned and not only were my hands not swollen, my ring was lose!! Crazy!! This morning was a smoothie. I was very watchful of my portions.. Large handful of spinach, blackberries, almond butter and coconut milk. I also had a hard boiled egg and 1/2 an avocado. We were at the park this morning and by the time we got home at noon I was having HUGE hunger issues. I can't seem to manage my hunger today. I feel like I'm over eating. Lunch was leftover baked chicken with squash, broccoli, and 1 small potato all sauteed and some watermelon.
We had our first dinner out tonight... I got a strawberry grilled chicken salad. Maybe 1/2 tsp dressing which was a vinaigrette and I'm sure it wasn't whole 30 approved. I didn't like the taste..salad was great though and not a bad combo of healthy fats, with walnuts in it. All in all I'm really proud of the choice I made.
Felt great today besides the worlds worst caffeine headache. I hope tomorrow is better, hunger-wise. I couldn't seem to get full today.. had a couple snacks...
All in all.. feeling great for day 4!
Saturday, July 4, 2015
Day 2 "Day of the Jello Limbs"
Woke up feeling like I had completed an Iron man in the night. My arms and legs feel like jello. My back feels like I was hit with a 2x4. Mentally I feel alert and great... but My limbs are screaming "Why must I do things" I shall hereby dub today "Day of the Jello Limbs"
I made a smoothie for breakfast... I know smoothies aren't a preferred food on Whole 30 but I think if I am really careful I can make it work. I'm not a huge breakfast person and it's really hard for me to eat a substantial meal in the morning.. but it's something I can work on. I'm pretty proud of today's smoothie and was very cautious about my fruit intake. I shared with Josh so that makes it better, right?
approx 10 frozen blackberries
coconut cream
TBL almond butter
2 tsp flax seed
1/2 a banana
2 handfuls spinach
Water to thin it out a tad
It was REALLY good! I need a better blender as my immersion blender didn't do too well. I'm following it with 2 poached eggs and some iced black tea.
Lunch was a HUGE salad with nearly everything Whole 30 I owned. It was really good and 3 hours later I'm still pleasantly full.
I made Dallas' Watermelon Salad and tried a bit of that. Whole 30 approved and SO SO yummy! I'm becoming excited for "healthy food",. All too often, before, my "excitement" would be Happy Hour at Sonic or ice cream and I'm happy that even just 2 days in I am excited and totally satisfied by watermelon salad.
Dinner is grilled hamburger patties topped with avocado and lettuce, "Zucchini fries" broiled in the oven and maybe some broiled white potatoes seasoned with Dill.
I made a smoothie for breakfast... I know smoothies aren't a preferred food on Whole 30 but I think if I am really careful I can make it work. I'm not a huge breakfast person and it's really hard for me to eat a substantial meal in the morning.. but it's something I can work on. I'm pretty proud of today's smoothie and was very cautious about my fruit intake. I shared with Josh so that makes it better, right?
approx 10 frozen blackberries
coconut cream
TBL almond butter
2 tsp flax seed
1/2 a banana
2 handfuls spinach
Water to thin it out a tad
It was REALLY good! I need a better blender as my immersion blender didn't do too well. I'm following it with 2 poached eggs and some iced black tea.
Lunch was a HUGE salad with nearly everything Whole 30 I owned. It was really good and 3 hours later I'm still pleasantly full.
I made Dallas' Watermelon Salad and tried a bit of that. Whole 30 approved and SO SO yummy! I'm becoming excited for "healthy food",. All too often, before, my "excitement" would be Happy Hour at Sonic or ice cream and I'm happy that even just 2 days in I am excited and totally satisfied by watermelon salad.
Dinner is grilled hamburger patties topped with avocado and lettuce, "Zucchini fries" broiled in the oven and maybe some broiled white potatoes seasoned with Dill.
Whole 30.. Day 1
Here we go. Getting ready to start Whole 30. I'm fearfully excited. 4 1/2 years ago I made huge changes to my diet and exercise level and ending up losing 50 pounds. I looked better than I ever have before.. Looking back though, I wasn't eating healthy. I changed how I ate, I changed the quantity, but I wasn't eating healthy. I drank an insane amount of sodas and energy drinks and I took supplements. Sure, I was skinny, but I wasn't terribly healthy. Doing Whole 30 will be the most daring thing I've done. Cutting out all junk and processed foods. Over the past year we've cut down on processed foods considerably. We don't eat boxed foods, I've cut my soda intake down from 1-2 a day to once a week yet I still don't feel healthy. I'm a busy mom of 3 and I have no energy. I constantly feel sluggish, almost as if I'm in a fog. I don't sleep well. I toss and turn all night. My hands constantly feel swollen and unable to grip things. I tell myself it's my carpal tunnel but I'm curious to see if it's actually diet or if it's carpal tunnel. I'm curious to see if I have a food allergy/intolerance and that could be contributing to the bloated, swollen feeling that I always seem to have.
My goals for Whole 30...
* I want to have more energy. I hate that at almost 30 I have no energy.
* I want to feel better, generally
* Losing some weight would be awesome, although not my main goal. In my heart, I'd love to drop 10lbs
* I want to stop feeling so bloated and swollen
Day 1:
I decided to take a before picture... not going to post it until after the 30 days but I took one.
I survived Whole 30 coffee...although I already screwed up the program before I even drank my coffee... I thought it would be a lovely addition to add some vanilla extract. Ya..vanilla extract is a no no. I did add coconut cream and cinnamon. It was actually pretty good. Like, I'd drink another cup. I can survive on that I think.
Second hitch.... My avocados weren't ready to eat. I somehow went to the store and decided buying only green ones would be great.... So I had to improvise... We ended up with spinach/mushroom egg scramble, 1/2 a banana, a handful of blueberries, and a Tbl almond butter. I don't like blueberries..never have. Actually I don't even care for bananas... But I ate them all. Gotta put on my big girl panties and eat adult food. I survived. And I feel pleasantly full. yay!
I let myself get too hungry before I had lunch.. it was all I could do to not put that cheese puff in my mouth as I was making the Kids' lunch. I've never wanted a cheese puff so bad in my life. Lunch was less than satisfying. Lunch meat, celery, carrots, and blueberries. Josh made a olive oil/herb dipping sauce which was pretty good. Snack: Apple and almond butter. I really like almond butter.
Dinner was a HUGE hit. I made Italian sausage, peppers, and zucchini all sauteed together. Super delicious and really filled me up.
Im not quite sure how to portion my food yet as I'm finding I get hungry between meals and in the evening still.. maybe my body will adjust to that as time goes on.
My goals for Whole 30...
* I want to have more energy. I hate that at almost 30 I have no energy.
* I want to feel better, generally
* Losing some weight would be awesome, although not my main goal. In my heart, I'd love to drop 10lbs
* I want to stop feeling so bloated and swollen
Day 1:
I decided to take a before picture... not going to post it until after the 30 days but I took one.
I survived Whole 30 coffee...although I already screwed up the program before I even drank my coffee... I thought it would be a lovely addition to add some vanilla extract. Ya..vanilla extract is a no no. I did add coconut cream and cinnamon. It was actually pretty good. Like, I'd drink another cup. I can survive on that I think.
Second hitch.... My avocados weren't ready to eat. I somehow went to the store and decided buying only green ones would be great.... So I had to improvise... We ended up with spinach/mushroom egg scramble, 1/2 a banana, a handful of blueberries, and a Tbl almond butter. I don't like blueberries..never have. Actually I don't even care for bananas... But I ate them all. Gotta put on my big girl panties and eat adult food. I survived. And I feel pleasantly full. yay!
I let myself get too hungry before I had lunch.. it was all I could do to not put that cheese puff in my mouth as I was making the Kids' lunch. I've never wanted a cheese puff so bad in my life. Lunch was less than satisfying. Lunch meat, celery, carrots, and blueberries. Josh made a olive oil/herb dipping sauce which was pretty good. Snack: Apple and almond butter. I really like almond butter.
Dinner was a HUGE hit. I made Italian sausage, peppers, and zucchini all sauteed together. Super delicious and really filled me up.
Im not quite sure how to portion my food yet as I'm finding I get hungry between meals and in the evening still.. maybe my body will adjust to that as time goes on.
Friday, June 26, 2015
Learning How To Be A Christian
It was almost 3 years ago that my life changed. I had always grown up in church. Identified as a christian but I never really enjoyed church, never really felt "safe" there. I found the hypocrisy distasteful, I found the "throw suchnsuch under the bus via pulpit" distasteful, things I had shared in confidence were blasted in front of all or I was made fun of. It wasn't a safe place, it wasn't a happy place for me. I never felt like I fit in, because of family past. I wasn't in the clique. You'd see a fellow church member at the store and they turn the other way to ignore you. You offend someone accidentally, and you're done for. It was really sad. Then I got married and move to Texas and we kinda fell out of church... sure, we tried a few times... but even then I was chastised via pulpit for wearing pants or how I looked, my piercings or tattoos, or knowing I was engaged, the Pastors daughter tried to hook up with my to-be husband when he did the gentlemanly thing and gave her a ride home and then played nice to my face. It wasn't a Christ-like atmosphere so we stopped and frankly, the Army friends we hung out with were WAY more real and way more legit than any Christian I had encountered. Sure they had their faults, they had their issues..but they tried and never stabbed you in the back.
I'm a very -real- person. I expect honesty, respect, kindness. I expect to be treated how I treat others. I expect to not be gossiped about for things that happened generations before me. I believe in being kind to others regardless of how they look or dress or act.
Then almost 3 years ago we walked into a thrift store looking for furniture for our new house. We had just moved to Wichita and had downsized prior to moving. Working in that thrift store was a man with a beard, covered in tattoos, wife beater shirt on.. and frankly, I didn't wanna make him mad. Josh and him started talking and he ending up giving us a card and told us "You should come check out our church on Sunday.. I'm the pastor" Josh and I said "ya maybe".. and we left.. I looked at Josh and my mouth dropped open.. "HE'S the pastor?? Okay. we -have- to go check this out" and thus our journey began and I Healed in ways I didn't know possible. We went once and told Joshs parents "STOP what you are doing! You HAVE to come check out this church"
That man.. that we met.. .is the kindest, gentlest, funniest, man. His wife is incredible and one of my BEST friends now, she knows some of my deepest secrets..stuff that'd make others run.. and she never batted an eye. I was 100% accepted. Their children are the cutest, sweetest, MOST adorable kids I think I've ever met. Their family, that lives out of state, has loved and accepted us after meeting us once.
We walked into that church and we didn't receive handshakes.. we received hugs. People who we had never met before hugged us and loved on our kids, invited us in, welcomed us with open arms, handed us food, coffee, water.. asked us about ourselves. After knowing me for an hour I was told "You're a good mom, I can see that" I had a 5 month old who was gearing up for another surgery and man..I desperately needed to hear that. We were hooked. We were officially part of an Urban church plant. In our 18 months there we saw almost every walk of life. Made life-long friends. We connected with World Impact Wichita (their parent church), We met more amazing, loving, kind, generous, giving people. We were loved and shown Christ in a way we'd never experienced before. There were no cliques. We were a family. I finally understood "church family" We started helping out and became active members. It opened my eyes to the Urban poor and gave me such a soft spot in my heart. The urban poor community are some of the kindest, most real people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. I saw things that brought me to tears. I saw things that filled my heart with more joy than I can express. I saw things that angered me. I've heard things that have made me weep inside. Nobody gossiped about it. Nobody looked badly upon them. They were loved and accepted and helped!
After we moved to Hutch, due to Joshs work schedule I had to bow out and become a "remote member" I'll always identify as part of the CTV family. I couldn't drive weekly with 3 kids by myself to church and back an hour away. It took a huge toll on me. I'm no help to anyone if I am stressed, tired, and worn out. We've been church hopping for 2 years now and .... I'm still not happy. It pains me to not have my CTV family every week. To not be able to reach out and love on them and give to them is hard. Every Sunday I wish I were with my CTV family. I've made friends from every walk of life. I've been shown who Christ is through ex-cons, the homeless, a lady in a batman costume and many many more. Not once have I ever been judged for who I am or how I look. Not once have I felt bad for who I am or where I came from. You think you're going into being a part of an urban church plant and you're going to be Christ to them, You're going to be the bright spot in their life...... for me, the exact opposite is true. I'm not laying everyones business out but I've been changed by many, many people.. maybe even people who had no clue that they impacted me. My kids have been impacted and shown to love all..despite flaws or choices. To love those that look and act differently than they do.
I've learned that I don't need to preach down anyone's throat. I'm gonna be me. You be you. Let me serve you and love you for who you are and let me meet you where you're at. I don't need to condemn people for their choices or life. That's not my job and frankly, it makes me look bad.
I learned what being a Christian is and now that we are hopping around "traditional" churches... They just don't measure up to what I experienced.
I've learned what it means to be Christ to someone. I've learned what it means to serve. To give. When I look back our time in Wichita was the time in my life I grew and changed the most.
I'm a very -real- person. I expect honesty, respect, kindness. I expect to be treated how I treat others. I expect to not be gossiped about for things that happened generations before me. I believe in being kind to others regardless of how they look or dress or act.
Then almost 3 years ago we walked into a thrift store looking for furniture for our new house. We had just moved to Wichita and had downsized prior to moving. Working in that thrift store was a man with a beard, covered in tattoos, wife beater shirt on.. and frankly, I didn't wanna make him mad. Josh and him started talking and he ending up giving us a card and told us "You should come check out our church on Sunday.. I'm the pastor" Josh and I said "ya maybe".. and we left.. I looked at Josh and my mouth dropped open.. "HE'S the pastor?? Okay. we -have- to go check this out" and thus our journey began and I Healed in ways I didn't know possible. We went once and told Joshs parents "STOP what you are doing! You HAVE to come check out this church"
That man.. that we met.. .is the kindest, gentlest, funniest, man. His wife is incredible and one of my BEST friends now, she knows some of my deepest secrets..stuff that'd make others run.. and she never batted an eye. I was 100% accepted. Their children are the cutest, sweetest, MOST adorable kids I think I've ever met. Their family, that lives out of state, has loved and accepted us after meeting us once.
We walked into that church and we didn't receive handshakes.. we received hugs. People who we had never met before hugged us and loved on our kids, invited us in, welcomed us with open arms, handed us food, coffee, water.. asked us about ourselves. After knowing me for an hour I was told "You're a good mom, I can see that" I had a 5 month old who was gearing up for another surgery and man..I desperately needed to hear that. We were hooked. We were officially part of an Urban church plant. In our 18 months there we saw almost every walk of life. Made life-long friends. We connected with World Impact Wichita (their parent church), We met more amazing, loving, kind, generous, giving people. We were loved and shown Christ in a way we'd never experienced before. There were no cliques. We were a family. I finally understood "church family" We started helping out and became active members. It opened my eyes to the Urban poor and gave me such a soft spot in my heart. The urban poor community are some of the kindest, most real people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. I saw things that brought me to tears. I saw things that filled my heart with more joy than I can express. I saw things that angered me. I've heard things that have made me weep inside. Nobody gossiped about it. Nobody looked badly upon them. They were loved and accepted and helped!
After we moved to Hutch, due to Joshs work schedule I had to bow out and become a "remote member" I'll always identify as part of the CTV family. I couldn't drive weekly with 3 kids by myself to church and back an hour away. It took a huge toll on me. I'm no help to anyone if I am stressed, tired, and worn out. We've been church hopping for 2 years now and .... I'm still not happy. It pains me to not have my CTV family every week. To not be able to reach out and love on them and give to them is hard. Every Sunday I wish I were with my CTV family. I've made friends from every walk of life. I've been shown who Christ is through ex-cons, the homeless, a lady in a batman costume and many many more. Not once have I ever been judged for who I am or how I look. Not once have I felt bad for who I am or where I came from. You think you're going into being a part of an urban church plant and you're going to be Christ to them, You're going to be the bright spot in their life...... for me, the exact opposite is true. I'm not laying everyones business out but I've been changed by many, many people.. maybe even people who had no clue that they impacted me. My kids have been impacted and shown to love all..despite flaws or choices. To love those that look and act differently than they do.
I've learned that I don't need to preach down anyone's throat. I'm gonna be me. You be you. Let me serve you and love you for who you are and let me meet you where you're at. I don't need to condemn people for their choices or life. That's not my job and frankly, it makes me look bad.
I learned what being a Christian is and now that we are hopping around "traditional" churches... They just don't measure up to what I experienced.
I've learned what it means to be Christ to someone. I've learned what it means to serve. To give. When I look back our time in Wichita was the time in my life I grew and changed the most.
Thursday, June 4, 2015
3 Things You didn't Know About My Boy
Here we are.. 3 years old. I have never seen a more adorable, sweet, funny, thoughtful 3 year old in my life. I was way beyond blessed with my boy.
He's started preschool and he has just excelled. Prior to preschool he wouldn't play with his toys. He would hold them or line them up or dump out the toybox but actual play never happened and after being in preschool for 2 weeks I caught him laying in his room all alone, playing with his toys. It's still not a perfect science and it doesn't happen consistently yet but nothing with kids is a perfect science.
His preschool wouldn't give him speech therapy during the summer so after speaking with his Dr we are getting ready to start speech therapy at the hospital here in town. We will also be evaluating for sensory therapy. He's started to really show a lot of sensory issues and his Dr. agreed. It's time to take some steps and see what is going on. I remember as a baby he was so over stimulated at times.. he would just fuss and cry. I would have to swaddle him up and take him into a dark bedroom with a fan on and rock him until he was calm.
Speech-wise... Things aren't great. They really haven't changed much, honestly. I know 1 year olds that talk more than him. It's pretty much been decided he has speech apraxia. Apraxia is a neurological issue that prevents the brain from letting the words come out of his mouth. He knows exactly what he wants to say, he just can't make the words come out of his mouth. There are two types of Apraxia. Childhood Apraxia and "Apraxia" ... Childhood apraxia resolves itself by 10-12 years of age, WITH intense therapy. Apraxia does not ever get better even with therapy. You CAN conquer Apraxia but the ONLY way is intense speech therapy. His preschool knows this and still wouldn't give him summer therapy because "It's just speech" So I found other avenues. As of yet the frequency isn't what I would like but I am willing to wait that out and see if I can't get it moved up more. If not, I'll go somewhere else.
So anyway, in honor of my boys 3rd year of life here are 3 things You didn't know about Wesley! :-)
1) You cannot punish a child for a tantrum due to frustration at not being able to speak. Welcome to the very fine line of parenting. After every tantrum I have to evaluate "What is he trying to say?" "What is frustrating him that he cannot express?" OR is this a blatant attitude/disrespect/anger. Think of how many tantrums a toddler has per day... your average toddler... Now imagine a toddler that has SO much to say, but cannot. Imagine yourself wanting to express your wants/needs/desires/opinions but you can't. Wouldn't you get so frustrated that you'd kick and scream? I know I would. Wesley probably has double the tantrums that a "Normal" toddler has..just due to not being able to vocally express what he needs or -us- not understanding what he is trying to say. The goal is to try to get him to talk, if I associate a punishment for every tantrum when all he wants to do is say something, but can't I'll end up crushing his spirit. When a tantrum or an outburst starts if I take a breath and calmly take 2 minutes to try to figure out what he needs/wants the tantrum 99% of the time, subsides. Imagine, as a parent, dealing with a normal 3 year old and his tantrums.. it's exhausting. Now, imagine having double the tantrums, at least, and having to sit there and analyze each one. "What's he trying to say" "What is bothering him" "Is he in pain?" or "Is this direct, defiant disobedience and anger" It's extremely, utterly mentally exhausting. And most days by the end of the day my brain is fried. Now, this isn't to say he has free reign and can do what he likes. Regardless of a tantrum we still have "consequences" for when something happens. More often than not I try to intercept before a tantrum gets bad.. If I can't.. he goes to "calm down" in his room. Punishing doesn't help. Spankings won't help. We -do- sit down and I talk to him about how I understand he was trying to say something but (stomping/throwing/screaming) is not an appropriate way to say something so he needs to slow down and use what he knows to tell mama what he needs. He does use sign language and we're to the point that *Most* things he'd ever need to say, he knows a sign for it, but, like many of us, default when you're frustrated, is anger. So please don't think he gets off free and acts however.. he doesn't. My rules and techniques are just a bit different than when I raised my girls. Every child is different and if you have one level playing field for life, you'll fail.
2) You cannot punish for a sensory overload. Wesleys sensory issues usually come in the form of food. He won't eat, foods he once liked he hates now, textures, etc or overload where he does something repeatedly and often times it's something really annoying. Shutting a door over and over. Hitting a toy on a table/floor, ect. I don't punish for that. Some may think I am crazy but the issue is not him being a nuisance or being a trouble maker. He's stressed. He's overloaded and repeatedly doing something calms him. Normally I try to scoop him up and take him to a quiet spot and let him calm down and sometimes I let him get it out of his system.
There was a situation awhile back where we were with a big group of people that he didn't know and he was way overloaded the WHOLE time. I took him away time and time again. J and I both took him on walks. We sat quietly away from everyone..but every time we weren't diverting him, he was opening/shutting a door and at about 3 hours in I was exhausted. Mentally and physically. and I was embarrassed. Nobody else understood. They had no idea and They probably thought I wasn't dealing with it or I was being lazy and letting him be annoying but that wasn't the case at all. I did everything I knew to do, especially considering we haven't even started sensory therapy yet, and it didn't work. It was exhausting and emotionally draining.
3) Enough of this heavy stuff.... for our finale ... Wesley LOVES to sing. I'll sing to him and then pause and he will follow with "Yah yah yah yaaahhh" in a sing-song voice. The tone is wrong, the words are wrong but he is singing and it makes me so happy! He doesn't do it a lot but when it does happen, it's amazing.
Happy 3 years to my amazing boy!!!! I hope to make amazing strides this year and remember, my son, Mama will NEVER ever give up on you!
He's started preschool and he has just excelled. Prior to preschool he wouldn't play with his toys. He would hold them or line them up or dump out the toybox but actual play never happened and after being in preschool for 2 weeks I caught him laying in his room all alone, playing with his toys. It's still not a perfect science and it doesn't happen consistently yet but nothing with kids is a perfect science.
His preschool wouldn't give him speech therapy during the summer so after speaking with his Dr we are getting ready to start speech therapy at the hospital here in town. We will also be evaluating for sensory therapy. He's started to really show a lot of sensory issues and his Dr. agreed. It's time to take some steps and see what is going on. I remember as a baby he was so over stimulated at times.. he would just fuss and cry. I would have to swaddle him up and take him into a dark bedroom with a fan on and rock him until he was calm.
Speech-wise... Things aren't great. They really haven't changed much, honestly. I know 1 year olds that talk more than him. It's pretty much been decided he has speech apraxia. Apraxia is a neurological issue that prevents the brain from letting the words come out of his mouth. He knows exactly what he wants to say, he just can't make the words come out of his mouth. There are two types of Apraxia. Childhood Apraxia and "Apraxia" ... Childhood apraxia resolves itself by 10-12 years of age, WITH intense therapy. Apraxia does not ever get better even with therapy. You CAN conquer Apraxia but the ONLY way is intense speech therapy. His preschool knows this and still wouldn't give him summer therapy because "It's just speech" So I found other avenues. As of yet the frequency isn't what I would like but I am willing to wait that out and see if I can't get it moved up more. If not, I'll go somewhere else.
So anyway, in honor of my boys 3rd year of life here are 3 things You didn't know about Wesley! :-)
1) You cannot punish a child for a tantrum due to frustration at not being able to speak. Welcome to the very fine line of parenting. After every tantrum I have to evaluate "What is he trying to say?" "What is frustrating him that he cannot express?" OR is this a blatant attitude/disrespect/anger. Think of how many tantrums a toddler has per day... your average toddler... Now imagine a toddler that has SO much to say, but cannot. Imagine yourself wanting to express your wants/needs/desires/opinions but you can't. Wouldn't you get so frustrated that you'd kick and scream? I know I would. Wesley probably has double the tantrums that a "Normal" toddler has..just due to not being able to vocally express what he needs or -us- not understanding what he is trying to say. The goal is to try to get him to talk, if I associate a punishment for every tantrum when all he wants to do is say something, but can't I'll end up crushing his spirit. When a tantrum or an outburst starts if I take a breath and calmly take 2 minutes to try to figure out what he needs/wants the tantrum 99% of the time, subsides. Imagine, as a parent, dealing with a normal 3 year old and his tantrums.. it's exhausting. Now, imagine having double the tantrums, at least, and having to sit there and analyze each one. "What's he trying to say" "What is bothering him" "Is he in pain?" or "Is this direct, defiant disobedience and anger" It's extremely, utterly mentally exhausting. And most days by the end of the day my brain is fried. Now, this isn't to say he has free reign and can do what he likes. Regardless of a tantrum we still have "consequences" for when something happens. More often than not I try to intercept before a tantrum gets bad.. If I can't.. he goes to "calm down" in his room. Punishing doesn't help. Spankings won't help. We -do- sit down and I talk to him about how I understand he was trying to say something but (stomping/throwing/screaming) is not an appropriate way to say something so he needs to slow down and use what he knows to tell mama what he needs. He does use sign language and we're to the point that *Most* things he'd ever need to say, he knows a sign for it, but, like many of us, default when you're frustrated, is anger. So please don't think he gets off free and acts however.. he doesn't. My rules and techniques are just a bit different than when I raised my girls. Every child is different and if you have one level playing field for life, you'll fail.
2) You cannot punish for a sensory overload. Wesleys sensory issues usually come in the form of food. He won't eat, foods he once liked he hates now, textures, etc or overload where he does something repeatedly and often times it's something really annoying. Shutting a door over and over. Hitting a toy on a table/floor, ect. I don't punish for that. Some may think I am crazy but the issue is not him being a nuisance or being a trouble maker. He's stressed. He's overloaded and repeatedly doing something calms him. Normally I try to scoop him up and take him to a quiet spot and let him calm down and sometimes I let him get it out of his system.
There was a situation awhile back where we were with a big group of people that he didn't know and he was way overloaded the WHOLE time. I took him away time and time again. J and I both took him on walks. We sat quietly away from everyone..but every time we weren't diverting him, he was opening/shutting a door and at about 3 hours in I was exhausted. Mentally and physically. and I was embarrassed. Nobody else understood. They had no idea and They probably thought I wasn't dealing with it or I was being lazy and letting him be annoying but that wasn't the case at all. I did everything I knew to do, especially considering we haven't even started sensory therapy yet, and it didn't work. It was exhausting and emotionally draining.
3) Enough of this heavy stuff.... for our finale ... Wesley LOVES to sing. I'll sing to him and then pause and he will follow with "Yah yah yah yaaahhh" in a sing-song voice. The tone is wrong, the words are wrong but he is singing and it makes me so happy! He doesn't do it a lot but when it does happen, it's amazing.
Happy 3 years to my amazing boy!!!! I hope to make amazing strides this year and remember, my son, Mama will NEVER ever give up on you!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)