Mental Torture

This is the kind of mental torture I deal with daily:

Big girl came home from school the other day with a hole in her shirt. I asked her how the hole got there. Her response:

"I spilled my juice and that's what caused the hole"
"Juice caused a hole in your shirt?"
"yes"

Then I ask if she ate all her chicken at lunch:
"I ate the peepee part of the chicken but not the rest"
blank stare... "what is that?!"
"The peepee part..I ate that part. A chicken is a bird, mom"
"Thank you..I had no clue what a chicken was.. Did you at least behave today?"
She's quiet........... and blinking.... "Mom, Does a badger have diseases?"


I'm kinda concerned about the school food budget if they are serving chicken w/ peepee parts and fabric eating juice..........