Struggle, Part 2

I am so overwhelmed by the love and support I was shown yesterday.  Thank you all so much.  From the bottom of my heart.  I'm so blessed and so very touched by all the responses I received. 

Some may ask, Why did I share that?  Why not is what I ask. I didn't do it for sympathy. I didn't do it to draw attention. I did it because  I fully believe that my words reach people. I fully believe that my words can and will touch someones life.  Give them hope.   I don't know who is reading my blog but I do know that there are many moms out there feeling like I am who can't/won't admit it.    Can I just say "It's okay"   It's okay to admit it. It's okay to talk about it. You aren't alone.   Do you hear me?? You.Aren't.Alone!!   There is no shame in admitting you are having a hard time. There is no shame in admitting you are fighting everyday to keep doing what you are doing. 

I have gotten such valuable information in the past day.  Valuable information I will use and put to work. Many, many messages from people. 

I don't know what I am going to do.  I know I have changes to make in my life. I know I have priorities that I need to turn around. 

For me to be a happy mom I have to be a happy person.  I need to be ME.    I'm facing a lot of challenges that make it hard for me to fulfill myself.   Challenges that I really cannot change by myself right now.  I have 3 children under 6. I have a husband who is working long, long hours and is rarely home. 

  I have to let go of the fear of being judged.  I have to let go of being scared someone in my life will leave if I offend them.   I need to make myself a priority.   I need to feel whole.   I'm not sure how to do that at this point.   I don't know the steps I need take.  

I have a couple things I do that don't pertain to me being a "mommy" ... A couple things that are refreshing for me. While they do provide me work that I have to do, It's things I enjoy.   It's things that make me happy.  Things that help others which in turns fulfills me.  Now, I just need to figure out how to fix the rest of me. 

Thank you for your loving support.