I'm having issues...... Big..serious..issues..big, serious, memory issues. First, I lose my wallet, poof, gone..into thin air. in the house. Everything gone, except my debit card, thankfully! My Military ID, all the kids and my's health insurance cards, dental cards, gone. Searched this house high and low and nowhere to be found. Some grimlin stole it.
So I finally get around to calling and canceling my credit card and ordering a new one, it comes in the mail and I call to acitvate it and get sidetracked, sit it down and........ITS GONE! It disapeared too! I check my *new* wallet, no there. I get the whole family, to include inlaws, searching the house bc I -know- it's here somewhere bc I didn't leave the house with it.
We search..and search..and search some more. After cleaning the whole house, searching toys, ect...I give one last ditch effort and check my purse again..There..It..was..floating freely amongst my purse. For reals?! Then I got the exciting pleasure to share that I did infact find it..and it was in fact in my purse (please dont't ask me how it got there because I have zero memory of putting it there) Talk..about..embarssment. I figured these brain issues would end after the deployment...apparently not.
And then, right after I had recovered from my embarassment of the lost credit card times 2..I hear my mother in law say "Do you realize you have a bandaid stuck to your butt" WHAT!?!? I yank off said bandaid and realize not only is it a bandaid..but a dirty bandaid. ACK! I then get around to asking myself two questions: 1. How long has bandaid been on my behind as the current time is 7pm and 2. WHY, for the love of all that is holy, did nobody tell me ealier?!
ACK!
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Day 365
Today I have been married 6 years. I am also on day 365 of my 3rd deployment in 6 years. I have a lot of thoughts going through my mind today. I'm feeling very reflective and introvertive.
Like the fact that I've spent over half my married life alone. I wonder how this deployment will affect my children.
3 deployments in 6 years takes a toll on a family, on a marriage, on children. I know for a fact that if we were not getting out of the Army next year we would be facing yet another deployment, which would make the count 4 deployments in 8 years. Stop..The..Madness. I just wanna holler at them "Dont..You.. GET.. it?!"
When will someone realize this is not right? I understand the mission.. I understand the whole "soldier" thing. Trust me, I get it. But I also get the fact that there are soldiers out there who haven't deployed or who have deployed only once and that upsets me. Some may say the whole "well, they have a different job" shpeal. gotcha! But here's the thing; my soldier has spent the majority of the past 7 years doing things OTHER than his job. I can count on one hand the times when he's actually done his specific job, that he was at AIT for. My point being, why?! Do the "Army Gods that Be" not get how hard it is on family, the back to back deployments? Do they not get how it tears down a marriage? Doing 3 back to back deployments changes people, both parties. You barely get a chance to get to know the 'new' person before it's time to go again. Yes, I realize there are marriage retreats, siminars, ect but those things do us no good when we are supposed to BRAC move less than 2 months after he returns,and it does us no good to schedule such things during a move. Or when you're spouse is too "essential" and can't go. (don't get me started on the whole 'essential' thing) It does nobody any good to 'give' us 25 days of free leave for doing 3 back to back deployments when you have to use those days to move during that. "here's your free leave..now, use it to move" Last I checked moving across state wasn't a vacation...But that's what we gotta do.
Contrary to popular belief your soldier doesn't come home and things pick up right where they were before. You don't walk in the door and things click back into place. A lot of times it takes months to get into a groove again and start feeling normal. Now, I understand that isn't -always- the case but a lot of the time it is. And just as you start feeling normal again he's shipped off..after so many times of that, what's the fallout?
This past year I have been extremely happy, I've been extremely sad, I've hit rock bottom, I've been so stressed it feels like I am going to explode..many many many times. I've felt like I didn't know how I was going to survive. I've heard "I miss daddy" about 700 times, if not more. I've been the bad guy, I've been the 'meany' I'm done. I don't know many people that have gone through 3 deployments in 6 years like I have, the cards fell differently for them than me. Why? why me? why us? Why am I on the verge of loosing everything? Why does my 'fight' feel almost gone? and still..there's no reprieve in sight. Moving, no home where we're going, no prospect of a home, renting the house we are currently in (FYI: If you're coming to the area and need a home to rent let me know), My eldest is starting school in 60 days.. Maybe by September I'll feel normal again. I dont know.
I do know that I gotta keep swimming.. somehow. Gotta keep swimming. Gotta keep my head above the water. Right now I kinda need a floatie though because I'm up to my neck.
Like the fact that I've spent over half my married life alone. I wonder how this deployment will affect my children.
3 deployments in 6 years takes a toll on a family, on a marriage, on children. I know for a fact that if we were not getting out of the Army next year we would be facing yet another deployment, which would make the count 4 deployments in 8 years. Stop..The..Madness. I just wanna holler at them "Dont..You.. GET.. it?!"
When will someone realize this is not right? I understand the mission.. I understand the whole "soldier" thing. Trust me, I get it. But I also get the fact that there are soldiers out there who haven't deployed or who have deployed only once and that upsets me. Some may say the whole "well, they have a different job" shpeal. gotcha! But here's the thing; my soldier has spent the majority of the past 7 years doing things OTHER than his job. I can count on one hand the times when he's actually done his specific job, that he was at AIT for. My point being, why?! Do the "Army Gods that Be" not get how hard it is on family, the back to back deployments? Do they not get how it tears down a marriage? Doing 3 back to back deployments changes people, both parties. You barely get a chance to get to know the 'new' person before it's time to go again. Yes, I realize there are marriage retreats, siminars, ect but those things do us no good when we are supposed to BRAC move less than 2 months after he returns,and it does us no good to schedule such things during a move. Or when you're spouse is too "essential" and can't go. (don't get me started on the whole 'essential' thing) It does nobody any good to 'give' us 25 days of free leave for doing 3 back to back deployments when you have to use those days to move during that. "here's your free leave..now, use it to move" Last I checked moving across state wasn't a vacation...But that's what we gotta do.
Contrary to popular belief your soldier doesn't come home and things pick up right where they were before. You don't walk in the door and things click back into place. A lot of times it takes months to get into a groove again and start feeling normal. Now, I understand that isn't -always- the case but a lot of the time it is. And just as you start feeling normal again he's shipped off..after so many times of that, what's the fallout?
This past year I have been extremely happy, I've been extremely sad, I've hit rock bottom, I've been so stressed it feels like I am going to explode..many many many times. I've felt like I didn't know how I was going to survive. I've heard "I miss daddy" about 700 times, if not more. I've been the bad guy, I've been the 'meany' I'm done. I don't know many people that have gone through 3 deployments in 6 years like I have, the cards fell differently for them than me. Why? why me? why us? Why am I on the verge of loosing everything? Why does my 'fight' feel almost gone? and still..there's no reprieve in sight. Moving, no home where we're going, no prospect of a home, renting the house we are currently in (FYI: If you're coming to the area and need a home to rent let me know), My eldest is starting school in 60 days.. Maybe by September I'll feel normal again. I dont know.
I do know that I gotta keep swimming.. somehow. Gotta keep swimming. Gotta keep my head above the water. Right now I kinda need a floatie though because I'm up to my neck.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Jesus Sighting at Target
My 3 year old saw Jesus! In Target! AND I got a picture of it and because I love you all.. I will share:
Look closely..reallll close..do ya see him? ya know..that man by Mount Rushmore with the lovely shorty shorts, hairy-ness, and the backpack.
As I'm in Target with my lovely children my eldest bursts out with "MOM!!! MOMOM MOM LOOK!!! IT'S JESUS!!! ITS JESUS JUST LIKE AT MEMAWS CHURCH!!! I saw him at memaws church!!!!" So being the ever interested mother that I am I say "What?! where?!?" "There! THERE ON THE CARD!!! by the mountains!! ITS JESUS" *She was very excited* At this point I had random people turning around wanting in on the Jesus sighting and had to do damage control.
" SHHH..No hon, that is not Jesus..SHHH..let's go!..wait..how are you seeing -that- at Memaws church?!"
OY!!! What is it about Target and my kids!? If you remember the whole bra issue at Target a few months back...*sigh* Not taking them to Target anymore. Also thinking of limiting the amount of time my child is spending with her Memaw....
Look closely..reallll close..do ya see him? ya know..that man by Mount Rushmore with the lovely shorty shorts, hairy-ness, and the backpack.
As I'm in Target with my lovely children my eldest bursts out with "MOM!!! MOMOM MOM LOOK!!! IT'S JESUS!!! ITS JESUS JUST LIKE AT MEMAWS CHURCH!!! I saw him at memaws church!!!!" So being the ever interested mother that I am I say "What?! where?!?" "There! THERE ON THE CARD!!! by the mountains!! ITS JESUS" *She was very excited* At this point I had random people turning around wanting in on the Jesus sighting and had to do damage control.
" SHHH..No hon, that is not Jesus..SHHH..let's go!..wait..how are you seeing -that- at Memaws church?!"
OY!!! What is it about Target and my kids!? If you remember the whole bra issue at Target a few months back...*sigh* Not taking them to Target anymore. Also thinking of limiting the amount of time my child is spending with her Memaw....
Top 10 Signs that you need a vacation:
1. You lose your wallet..gone..vanished..pretty sure it's still in the house but where is beyond me because I've cleaned and searched the house 50 billion times.. thankfully I have my debit card and I got a new drivers license but my CC, military ID, ins. cards, everything..poof. gone.
2. You look around franically trying to find the Ipad...You convince yourself someone broke in during the night and stole it. ... 10 minutes through your rant you realize it's on the table......because you were using it 15 minutes ago...
3. You totally forget you have 2 legs to shave while in the shower. You don't realize you didn't shave second leg until you are dressed and putting on lotion... annoying.
4. When your "something green on the plate always" rule at dinner slides into "do Green M&M's count?"
5. You sit there praying that Extreme Home Makeover knocks on your door because that'll kill 2 birds with 1 stone... house fixed up, vacation
6. You take both kids, alone, in PJ's, to the store at 8pm to buy another pack of pacis bc you don't have the energy to find lost paci nor deal with crying child all night long.
7. You allow your child to wear her princess ballerina outfit more than she probably should..to include naps and bedtime. (at least if she wears it to bed I don't have to try to put it on her at 7am when I'm already grumpy to begin with)
8. You hide from your children. (no judging..every mother has done this! If you havent, well, I don't like you..you don't count)
9. Your last real vacation was over 2 years ago (that in and of itself is a big sign that you need a vacay)
10: You find yourself crying because the kids on the show you were watching were having a birthday...........
That's it folks, there ya go. All those wanting to donate to the "Erica needs a vacay" fund...tip jars by the front door as you exit to the left!
*takeing a bow*
Sunday, June 5, 2011
For your eating pleasure:
Since one my last recipe postings inspired my friend, Laura, over at www.lauracashion.com
(psst..go check her out! She's an awesome photographer, if you're in the area) here are a few others.
First up: Adobo Chicken (Serves 4)
1.5 – 2 Lbs Chicken Thighs, boneless and skinless
1/4 Cup White Vinegar
3 Tbsp Low Sodium Soy Sauce
2 Small Garlic Cloves, minced
2 Dried Bay Leaves
1. Place all of the ingredients in a bowl or Ziploc bag (for easier cleanup) and marinate chicken for 1 hour to overnight.
2. Place all the ingredients in a medium size pot, bring to a boil, reduce to a simmer, cover and cook for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally.
3. Uncover, raise the heat to medium high and allow the sauce to reduce for about 10 minutes.
4. Shred chicken thighs or serve whole over rice.
and for my variations: because you know I can't make anything without a variation:
I used chicken breasts, added some whole pepercorns and used minced garlic (refridgerated, in a jar) instead of cloves. and I, of course, made sticky rice, bc sticky rice and I are BFF's.
It was REALLY good and super super easy! Easiest meal I've made in a very long time.
Numero Two:
Orange Ginger Cookies (Makes 3 Dozen)
2 1/4 Cups All Purpose Flour
2 Tsp Ground Ginger
1 Tsp Ground Cinnamon
1/2 Tsp Ground Cloves
1/2 Tsp Nutmeg
1/4 Tsp Salt
1 Tsp Baking Soda
3/4 Cup Butter, softened
1 Cup White Sugar, plus 2 Tbsp sugar for coating
1 Large Egg
1/4 Cup Molasses
2 Tbsp Orange Zest
2 Tbsp Orange Juice, fresh squeezed
1. Preheat oven to 350 F.
2. Sift together the first 7 ingredients and set aside.
3. In a large bowl using a hand mixer or standing mixer, cream together butter and 1 cup of sugar until light and fluffy (about 1-2 minutes).
4. Add egg to the creamed butter mixture and beat another minute until combined.
5. Add molasses, orange zest and juice and combine.
6. Slowly add the dry ingredients to the wet until they are all incorporated. Chill dough for one hour.
7. Shape dough into 1-inch balls then roll them in the remaining 2 tbsp of sugar.
8. Place the balls onto a silpat or parchment lined cookie sheet and slightly flatten using the palm of your hands (make sure cookies are placed about 2 inches away from each other since they will widen when baking)
9. Bake for 10-12 minutes.
10. Cool and serve.
I didn't have cloves so I ommitted them and I didn't smush them. Made for fluffier cookies that way, I also used Agave instead of molasses.
They were really good! Very different and 'warm' Definatly tasted christmas-y.. but really good..even in June.
Both the above recipes came from www.weelicious.com
(they are awesome too)
And finally:
http://twinisms.wordpress.com/2011/05/10/
This was REALLY good and my new go-to sauce. Yes, I made variations:
I didn't measure the spices, just let the Good Lord lead me :-), Added bay leaves (because you can't make anything italian without bay leaves) and I added tomato sauce after it was done because it was too thick for my tastes so if you don't like thick sauce then add either tomato sauce or water until you reach your desired consistancy. I let it simmer probably 45 minutes before I added in the tomato sauce and then let it go 15 more minutes.
really awesome sauce. The green olives add an awesome kick. Little time consuming but it made a lot of sauce. Enough for 2 full meals plus extra for many leftovers. I froze 1/2 the sauce for other meals too. really good.
Eat Happy!
(psst..go check her out! She's an awesome photographer, if you're in the area) here are a few others.
First up: Adobo Chicken (Serves 4)
1.5 – 2 Lbs Chicken Thighs, boneless and skinless
1/4 Cup White Vinegar
3 Tbsp Low Sodium Soy Sauce
2 Small Garlic Cloves, minced
2 Dried Bay Leaves
1. Place all of the ingredients in a bowl or Ziploc bag (for easier cleanup) and marinate chicken for 1 hour to overnight.
2. Place all the ingredients in a medium size pot, bring to a boil, reduce to a simmer, cover and cook for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally.
3. Uncover, raise the heat to medium high and allow the sauce to reduce for about 10 minutes.
4. Shred chicken thighs or serve whole over rice.
and for my variations: because you know I can't make anything without a variation:
I used chicken breasts, added some whole pepercorns and used minced garlic (refridgerated, in a jar) instead of cloves. and I, of course, made sticky rice, bc sticky rice and I are BFF's.
It was REALLY good and super super easy! Easiest meal I've made in a very long time.
Numero Two:
Orange Ginger Cookies (Makes 3 Dozen)
2 1/4 Cups All Purpose Flour
2 Tsp Ground Ginger
1 Tsp Ground Cinnamon
1/2 Tsp Ground Cloves
1/2 Tsp Nutmeg
1/4 Tsp Salt
1 Tsp Baking Soda
3/4 Cup Butter, softened
1 Cup White Sugar, plus 2 Tbsp sugar for coating
1 Large Egg
1/4 Cup Molasses
2 Tbsp Orange Zest
2 Tbsp Orange Juice, fresh squeezed
1. Preheat oven to 350 F.
2. Sift together the first 7 ingredients and set aside.
3. In a large bowl using a hand mixer or standing mixer, cream together butter and 1 cup of sugar until light and fluffy (about 1-2 minutes).
4. Add egg to the creamed butter mixture and beat another minute until combined.
5. Add molasses, orange zest and juice and combine.
6. Slowly add the dry ingredients to the wet until they are all incorporated. Chill dough for one hour.
7. Shape dough into 1-inch balls then roll them in the remaining 2 tbsp of sugar.
8. Place the balls onto a silpat or parchment lined cookie sheet and slightly flatten using the palm of your hands (make sure cookies are placed about 2 inches away from each other since they will widen when baking)
9. Bake for 10-12 minutes.
10. Cool and serve.
I didn't have cloves so I ommitted them and I didn't smush them. Made for fluffier cookies that way, I also used Agave instead of molasses.
They were really good! Very different and 'warm' Definatly tasted christmas-y.. but really good..even in June.
Both the above recipes came from www.weelicious.com
(they are awesome too)
And finally:
http://twinisms.wordpress.com/2011/05/10/
This was REALLY good and my new go-to sauce. Yes, I made variations:
I didn't measure the spices, just let the Good Lord lead me :-), Added bay leaves (because you can't make anything italian without bay leaves) and I added tomato sauce after it was done because it was too thick for my tastes so if you don't like thick sauce then add either tomato sauce or water until you reach your desired consistancy. I let it simmer probably 45 minutes before I added in the tomato sauce and then let it go 15 more minutes.
really awesome sauce. The green olives add an awesome kick. Little time consuming but it made a lot of sauce. Enough for 2 full meals plus extra for many leftovers. I froze 1/2 the sauce for other meals too. really good.
Eat Happy!
Friday, June 3, 2011
The Natives are Restless
Here it is, 4:30pm, and I'm sitting here thinking the same thing I'm always thinking everyday at 4:30pm. I HATE this time of the day! I HATE IT! With such passion! I'm worn out, I'm usually slightly cranky, I'm ready for some sort of help, the kids are cranky and starting to whine about dinner, there are toys everywhere that nobody wants to clean up and there's the nightly threaten, plead, holler pick up your toys NOW routine. Nothing makes my blood boil more than telling someone to do something more than twice, let alone 50 times. I may throw every toy in the trash because the only time they 'play' with them is to dump every toy bin into one big pile. And on top of all that I have to start figuring out what to cook for dinner.
This nightlytorture routine just about brings me to tears...nightly..and I'm not even joking. I'm not one to burst into tears but..seriously...it's about on my last nerve.
I'llholler nicely ask them to pick up their toys 1 million times, cook something that nobody likes and proceeds to smear, dig in, or paint with, then I have to clean up a dinner that nobody ate along with a mess that everybody made and then it's bath, bed, plead with kids to go to sleep and pray they go to sleep quickly. And I swear to you, it's not even like I let my kids run wild.. I don't! They gang up on me! I am very strict with my kids, anyone that knows me well, knows this. I do -not- let them run wild, And anyone who has more than 1 kid who are over the age of 2 knows this. One causes a distraction while the other causes chaos then while you clean up chaos and get onto the 2nd child the first causes chaos. Never..ending..freaking..chaos. In am one person..one tired, worn out, person. And no matter how much I try I've just begun to think that if I want to keep my sanity, this is not a battle I can win at the moment.
I also have what I lovingy call as a 'cling on' a child that no matter when, no matter who is here to entertain, no..matter..what.. the moment I step food in the kitchen to cook a meal she attachs herself to my leg..literally, been that way since she was born.
I automatically know when it hits 4:30 or 5 pm because my head automatically starts pounding in migraine fashion. This time of day stresses me out so bad I literally feel sick. This is crazy! I deal with stress very well..and yet I wanna run away from 4:30-8p.m nightly. run far...far...away...
I never thought I'd say this but I Long for the days when I had just one baby..oh how EASY! Even a 15 month old and a newborn was easier than this. (Might I add that when I had a 15 month old and a newborn I was single parenting it also) SOOO much easier. Such fond days those were. Babies are lovely, lovely, lovely, until they get to 2 1/2 and they can pick on their sister.
If anyone would like to give up their spouse for an evening I am more than willing to accept them! ok..heck, it can even be a single person who wants a little spice added to their late afternoon timeframe... right over here! Be here at 4pm.. on..the..dot. Thanks!
Peace!
This nightly
I'll
I also have what I lovingy call as a 'cling on' a child that no matter when, no matter who is here to entertain, no..matter..what.. the moment I step food in the kitchen to cook a meal she attachs herself to my leg..literally, been that way since she was born.
I automatically know when it hits 4:30 or 5 pm because my head automatically starts pounding in migraine fashion. This time of day stresses me out so bad I literally feel sick. This is crazy! I deal with stress very well..and yet I wanna run away from 4:30-8p.m nightly. run far...far...away...
I never thought I'd say this but I Long for the days when I had just one baby..oh how EASY! Even a 15 month old and a newborn was easier than this. (Might I add that when I had a 15 month old and a newborn I was single parenting it also) SOOO much easier. Such fond days those were. Babies are lovely, lovely, lovely, until they get to 2 1/2 and they can pick on their sister.
If anyone would like to give up their spouse for an evening I am more than willing to accept them! ok..heck, it can even be a single person who wants a little spice added to their late afternoon timeframe... right over here! Be here at 4pm.. on..the..dot. Thanks!
Peace!
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