Disclaimer: Most of the below blog is done in jest. This is not directed at any one person, place, or thing. It is for informational and humerous purposes. Do not send hate mail. Love kids. Love Dogs. But they are two very different things. It's like comparing Apples to Oranges. If you have already have had kids you completely understand.
I'm as much of a dog lover as the next person. I miss our dog terribly and I miss the companionship. Love all dogs. (unless they try to eat me) Think they are pretty awesome (most of the time..when they aren't puking in my house) But I am up to -here- with people comparing their dogs to kids. So to help them realize that they are terribly wrong I have compiled a list of Reasons Why Your Dog is not like my child.
1. If your dog gets spastic you can stick him/her in a cage... It's not advised that I do that with my kids.
2. Your dog sleeps during the day. My kids don't.
3. You can put a muzzle on your dog to stop the barking. I cannot do that with my child. I have to listen to 45 mins of "why"
4. Dogs get fleas. My kids don't.
5. If you want to go on vacation it's a whole lot easier to find a kennel or dog sitter for the week than it is to find someone to take on my kids for a week.
6. You can walk your dog on a leash so that lil pooch doesn't run off at the park. Again, not advised that I do that with my kids.
7. If your dog pees on the floor you stick Fido in his cage. I get to clean up the pee with a wild child running around and possibly through the pee. There are no cages.
8. You can go out on a random date night at the spur of the moment and leave Fido at home. I cannot. There are many times I go through the trouble of finding a babysitter and she cancels and I -still- can't go out.
9. I have to wipe poopy butts. You can send your dog outside to deal with their poop issues on their own.
10. If Fido gets completely crazy and you need a break you can always send him outside and not have to worry about peeking out every 2 minutes to make sure nobody has kidnapped him.
11. Fido rides quietly in the car on nice road trips. Kids don't. They test your very limits of sanity.
If anyone is still confused by this list I am willing to lend out my child to you for the day. That should clear up any confusion you have left.
1 comment:
Love this! I think it's hilarious when people are talking about their children and people with no children butt into the conversation by talking about their pets!!!!!! Like they can relate! It's not just dogs, it's cats and rabbits and gerbils. Ridiculous! But sadly, some people think their pets are their children, and value their pets more than some people in their lives. Very sad. Glad you posted this!
PS: Although your kids can't get fleas, they can get lice!!!! =p
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