Boob....er..I mean..BRA!

DISCLAIMER: IF YOU ARE A BOOB-A-PHOBE...DO NOT PROCEDE ANY FURTHER

Today I decided to go on an adventure with my 3yr old and my 2 yr old.
"The Great Bra Shopping Adventure" normally I would wait until they were in daycare but it was just one of those things that I -had- to do today, not because there was a real dire need to, but because once I decide I need to do something I have to do it right -then- And sometimes being a 'single mom' as I am at the moment, ya can't wait for the perfect time, ya just gotta do it. So I did. Off we went. Me, in my infinate wisdom, thinking it couldn't be -that- bad. Since I've lost 30lbs I've also lost some in a 'certain' area, Which isn't a big deal for me. I have enough to share...momma always said to share.
So there we are in Target, looking at the bras and it starts with my 3yr old poking each 'cup' of -each- bra, but I could live with that. Pick your battles. I made my selections and then I hear "mom! LOOK at this BOOB! its HUGE!!" Let me just back up and say that my beautiful daughter is a bit confused when it comes to the terms "bra" and "boob" Every bra is a "boob" So I scurry her along, still in control. We get to the dressing rooms and the lady is giving me my number and miss thang pops up and goes "mom...are you gonna dress up in those beautiful boobs?..my moms gonna put on those boobs!" (BLUSH) The lil 19 year old worker there thought it was insanely funny...of course. soooo we laugh and get in the dressing room while I tell her to not make comments and I'm doin my thang and my daughter (she just can't keep her MOUTH shut!) goes, in her very loud 3yr old voice "ohhh momma, I really like yours boobs" (she meant she liked the bra I was trying on, but...you can imagine what everyone else thought) I do that harsh "SHH!!" whisper thing, every mom out there is nodding their head now, aren't you, bc you've done it too! lol
and I hear it........a man...(Target doesn't seperate their dressing rooms)...choking back a laugh or perhaps just thinking 'crap, wheres my video camera when I need it... yyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
oh..but it doesn't stop.. "Momma..are you going to buy those boobs? Daddy will really love yours new boobs momma, Can I touch yours new boobs momma? please momma..just let me poke it, lemme touch it, lemme touch it" (at this point shes jumping up and down)
I wanted....to..VOMIT! lol Im standing there staring at this child just blinking and I'm doing that thing where your nose flares and you make a quiet "SHH" face..apparently 3 year olds don't understand that. I choke out "be..quiet..please" trying not to sound like the psycho embarassed mother bc obviously those dressing rooms are not sound proof.
I was just praying we made it out of there before that man did or he left before us -anything- to keep us from walking out at the same time.

Apparently the Lord was watching out for me, bc I made it out of there before and/or after the mysterious man and we made a quick exit for the checkout...............

Never...........again......