sooo, the 'deployment curse' struck this house..and I hope it's now GONE! The 'deployment curse' is: When your husband leaves what can break, will.
Yesterday I had to get after Midas for doing a crap job on my car and not tightening some bolts underneath which caused a Transmission fluid leak, and they did, well, they "dont know what they did to begin with but they fixed it" niiiiice. anyways I won that battle..for free, well, It was a hassle, they faught me and said I was wrong, when I WAS right and they didnt touch the trans. fluid, when OBVIOUSLY they did bc my car didnt leak before they touched it, but I won it nonetheless. I was victorious, I was a CHAMPION..I FIXED IT ALL BY MYSELF!!!
Then no more do I get home and my darling daughter kicks a hole through my front window. The window has been cracked since we bought the house but has been perfectly fine until my daughters foot collided with it. That just about did me in. I had imagines of jacking up the credit card buying 2 new windows *1 was broken but you cant replace just 1, gotta do both, so they match* I realize I seem hooah and totally strong and totally in control. HA..no...I have my moments. Especially after I had to fight a battle with Midas already just an hour prior.
I sat down on the couch and I cried. I cried because I didn't WANT to fix a window, I didn't know how to and I didn't want to deal with it. Then I got mad. I was mad that I had to deal with it. I was mad that my husband wasn't here to deal with it. I was mad BD was gone and I was mad at BD that he left me to deal with this *GASP* Yes..I said it. How dare she be mad at her husband who is fighting a war..Pluh-ease. It's a normal reaction. He knows this, he knows I get mad at him for leaving, its happened the last 2 deployments. And he knows that I'm not -really- mad at him, I'm mad at the situation and if someone were to go tattle and tell him he'd say "so? She probably was, it's okay" It doesn't bother him, bc he knows ME, sometimes better than I know myself, he doesn't get offended bc he knows what I'm REALLY mad at. soo anyways, I took my anger and stress and took it outside and cleaned up the backyard and let the girls get completely muddy and dirty then I came inside,bathed everyone and then I got in the shower and cried..bc once again, I was mad. I was mad the backyard was so trashed, I was mad that I was dirty and sore, I was mad that I had to do so much bc all I wanted to do that day was get caught up on cleaning and laundry. And I cried more...and more crying.
But...Heres the key......This morning, after my pity party of an evening, I picked myself up, went and exercised, came home and started fixing the window, I pulled all the jagged edges off, vacuumed everything and luckily my dad called just then and suggested I just get a new pane, instead of a whole new window *I didn't know such a fix existed* So I got on the horn and called all over trying to find someone to help me and nobody would, they were all too busy and wouldn't even talk to me, Finally..I found my saving grace....Quality Glass and Mirror. They said they'd come at 2pm and not an hour later called and said they'd come right over. They were the nicest guys and even fixed it right then and there, for a mere $64. If you're in the Killeen area I HIGHLY recommend them!!!
I am victorious again!!! Yes..I had a breakdown but I picked myself up and fixed the problem. Everyone has meltdowns but it's what you -do- after the meltdown that says it all!
See..I'm not all that hooah, I have my moments. :-)
Peace!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Here's the Issue
K..Sooo another issue has present itself..
Somehow a fairly big limb has fallen 1/2 way off the tree in our backyard, thus creating an eyesore. I wish I knew how it got that way, it sure hasn't stormed..let alone, sprinkled here in forever so I know that can't be the culprit.
It's gonna require a ladder and some sort of saw machine bc it's higher than me and way too thick for me to break off with my hands. Another issue: We live around old people..all our neighbors are old, except for the people that got arrested for meth, they were young, but..obviously gone at the moment. I surely can't ask the old lady behind us whose husband had a stroke, shes near 80 and does all the yard work herself..kinda cute. The mexican people across the street are an option but I can't ask them bc I dont know any spanish..at all and that's all they speak.
Wonder if I tie a raw steak to the limb if the dogs will take care of the issue...I'd happily slurdge on a $12 steak in order to get the job done. Dogs would be happy and I would be happy...it's looking like a good option.......
This is gonna be interesting.............
Somehow a fairly big limb has fallen 1/2 way off the tree in our backyard, thus creating an eyesore. I wish I knew how it got that way, it sure hasn't stormed..let alone, sprinkled here in forever so I know that can't be the culprit.
It's gonna require a ladder and some sort of saw machine bc it's higher than me and way too thick for me to break off with my hands. Another issue: We live around old people..all our neighbors are old, except for the people that got arrested for meth, they were young, but..obviously gone at the moment. I surely can't ask the old lady behind us whose husband had a stroke, shes near 80 and does all the yard work herself..kinda cute. The mexican people across the street are an option but I can't ask them bc I dont know any spanish..at all and that's all they speak.
Wonder if I tie a raw steak to the limb if the dogs will take care of the issue...I'd happily slurdge on a $12 steak in order to get the job done. Dogs would be happy and I would be happy...it's looking like a good option.......
This is gonna be interesting.............
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
So, it was time for the first grass mow since BD left...easy right? suuuure.
So I get out the mower, mow 1/2 the back yard and it dies, again, not a problem, just needs gas, sooo I put a phone call in to my lovely Father in law to ask if he knows whether the 2 gas cans in the shed have reg gas in them or gas for the weedeater in it. *See...I do know something!!!* Some of you may wonder "How would he know" well, they just left a couple weeks ago from a 6wk stay at our house, so yes, he would know better than me what is going on in my shed :)
So since that issue is solved I decide to just go ahead and get the weedeating out of the way, aaaand I hit another snag, The weedeater was out of gas *remind me to get after my husband for the above issues* sooo I once again put in a call to my handy father in law, he instructs me out how mix the oil and gas, bingo bango done, perfecto.....
I pick up the weedeater and start it...and heres where my issue starts......Im short, the heaviest part of the weedeater *the gas tank* is above my head. It's taller than me...by a lot. Not good. It's just easy physics, *I think its physics right?* Heavy things above short people equal off balance. Another issue I encounter is the constant vibration of the weedeater. May not be a big deal to some, but to someone with fairly bad carpal tunnel it's an issue. Now, for those that don't know heavy vibrations plus carpal tunnel hands can cause sort of a parlayasis of the hands, not good. Nevertheless, this does not stop me! I'm an Army wife! hooah! Soooo the most I can do is heave this thing upward then run to a new spot and let the spinning cord grass cuttin thingie hit the ground....which causes big mole sized holes around the perimeter of the fence. The weedeater isnt balanced enough *bc it towers 3 ft above my head* nor can the strength of my hands/arms help control it...sooo picture a sort of Dumb and Dumber meets Texas Chainsaw Massacure type scene.
I'll just have weeds......
I swear, there ought to be cameras in my house...I'd be famous..then I wouldn't have grass...I'd have Astroturf!!!!
So I get out the mower, mow 1/2 the back yard and it dies, again, not a problem, just needs gas, sooo I put a phone call in to my lovely Father in law to ask if he knows whether the 2 gas cans in the shed have reg gas in them or gas for the weedeater in it. *See...I do know something!!!* Some of you may wonder "How would he know" well, they just left a couple weeks ago from a 6wk stay at our house, so yes, he would know better than me what is going on in my shed :)
So since that issue is solved I decide to just go ahead and get the weedeating out of the way, aaaand I hit another snag, The weedeater was out of gas *remind me to get after my husband for the above issues* sooo I once again put in a call to my handy father in law, he instructs me out how mix the oil and gas, bingo bango done, perfecto.....
I pick up the weedeater and start it...and heres where my issue starts......Im short, the heaviest part of the weedeater *the gas tank* is above my head. It's taller than me...by a lot. Not good. It's just easy physics, *I think its physics right?* Heavy things above short people equal off balance. Another issue I encounter is the constant vibration of the weedeater. May not be a big deal to some, but to someone with fairly bad carpal tunnel it's an issue. Now, for those that don't know heavy vibrations plus carpal tunnel hands can cause sort of a parlayasis of the hands, not good. Nevertheless, this does not stop me! I'm an Army wife! hooah! Soooo the most I can do is heave this thing upward then run to a new spot and let the spinning cord grass cuttin thingie hit the ground....which causes big mole sized holes around the perimeter of the fence. The weedeater isnt balanced enough *bc it towers 3 ft above my head* nor can the strength of my hands/arms help control it...sooo picture a sort of Dumb and Dumber meets Texas Chainsaw Massacure type scene.
I'll just have weeds......
I swear, there ought to be cameras in my house...I'd be famous..then I wouldn't have grass...I'd have Astroturf!!!!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
From one wife to another
so now that I'm officially on the countdown, I thought I would share a few helpful hints for any other Army wives that happen to stumble onto my blog. Being that this is my 3rd Deployment I have a few :-)
1. Use to the full extent those 16 hrs a month of free daycare on post! If you don't know what I am talking about then run run run and knock down someone's door and ask them! Those beautiful 16 hours a month, 4 hrs a week! Oh how lovely. Go get your hair done, go get your nails done, go take a nap, go do SOMETHING!
2. take care of yourself! you cannot give what you need to give, especially if you have kids if you don't. Eat healthy, exercise, get sleep,take vitamins. Easier said than done, yes, I know, but do take care of yourself. If you come to the end of the deployment exausted, worn out, stresseed to the max, you are no help to anyone!
3. My kids go to bed early...people dont understand why my kids go to bed early..*Respectably, for a 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 yr olds I dont think 7 and 8 pm is extremely early, but whatever* There is a method to my 'madness' I need 'me' time. I need peace and quiet. Sure, my kids get up somewhat early, but they get up early no matter when they go to bed so I might as well utilize that time, give them extra rest and me the 'me' time that I need. I am a better mother when I have a couple hours in the evening to decompress. This also works in my favor when my husband is home, kids in bed early and we get a quiet evening just us without the stresses of kids around.
4. Now, heres where I need to take my own advice, bc I struggle with this one. When offered help..TAKE IT! Do not let your pride get in the way.
If you are visiting family and they offer to get up with the kids while you sleep in...for goodness sake..Let them! I will say, I am getting better at this but its a work in progress.
5. Have a support system. I have wonderful family and friends that I can vent to and yell if needed, or cry if needed and they don't judge me, they try to understand as best they can, if they arent military. A support system is your key to getting through hard times! One of my very best friends lives in Hawaii *also a military spouse* but the time change doesn't matter, I know if I need her she's there and if she needs me she knows I'm here!
And for those that aren't military..please don't judge us. It's hard for those outside of this world to understand the daily stresses or too understand why we do what we do, or say what we say, or the way we parent our kids bc when our spouse is gone we're tired, stressed to the max, and our whole world is sitting on -our- shoulders we don't always make the right decisions in what we say or do or in how we parent, we don't always respond the nicest but that may be because we haven't heard from our spouse in a week and they were supposed to go on a mission and we are worried or maybe it was because we didnt sleep the night before, or 3 nights before bc the baby is teething. Just be our friend, love us in spite of our shortfalls and our moods :-) There are days when we get up, survive, go to bed.
I totally completely understand everything thats on a wifes plate whose husband is gone. You are mom/dad/gardener/trash taker outer..you run it all and its exausting..its daunting, I know. But remember, Each day that passes, is one day closer to when you will see your spouse again.
And I promise you, one day you will see those beautiful white busses and your spouse will be home!! You will survive this! You will make it! Time does not stop..even though it feels like it, it doesn't.
1. Use to the full extent those 16 hrs a month of free daycare on post! If you don't know what I am talking about then run run run and knock down someone's door and ask them! Those beautiful 16 hours a month, 4 hrs a week! Oh how lovely. Go get your hair done, go get your nails done, go take a nap, go do SOMETHING!
2. take care of yourself! you cannot give what you need to give, especially if you have kids if you don't. Eat healthy, exercise, get sleep,take vitamins. Easier said than done, yes, I know, but do take care of yourself. If you come to the end of the deployment exausted, worn out, stresseed to the max, you are no help to anyone!
3. My kids go to bed early...people dont understand why my kids go to bed early..*Respectably, for a 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 yr olds I dont think 7 and 8 pm is extremely early, but whatever* There is a method to my 'madness' I need 'me' time. I need peace and quiet. Sure, my kids get up somewhat early, but they get up early no matter when they go to bed so I might as well utilize that time, give them extra rest and me the 'me' time that I need. I am a better mother when I have a couple hours in the evening to decompress. This also works in my favor when my husband is home, kids in bed early and we get a quiet evening just us without the stresses of kids around.
4. Now, heres where I need to take my own advice, bc I struggle with this one. When offered help..TAKE IT! Do not let your pride get in the way.
If you are visiting family and they offer to get up with the kids while you sleep in...for goodness sake..Let them! I will say, I am getting better at this but its a work in progress.
5. Have a support system. I have wonderful family and friends that I can vent to and yell if needed, or cry if needed and they don't judge me, they try to understand as best they can, if they arent military. A support system is your key to getting through hard times! One of my very best friends lives in Hawaii *also a military spouse* but the time change doesn't matter, I know if I need her she's there and if she needs me she knows I'm here!
And for those that aren't military..please don't judge us. It's hard for those outside of this world to understand the daily stresses or too understand why we do what we do, or say what we say, or the way we parent our kids bc when our spouse is gone we're tired, stressed to the max, and our whole world is sitting on -our- shoulders we don't always make the right decisions in what we say or do or in how we parent, we don't always respond the nicest but that may be because we haven't heard from our spouse in a week and they were supposed to go on a mission and we are worried or maybe it was because we didnt sleep the night before, or 3 nights before bc the baby is teething. Just be our friend, love us in spite of our shortfalls and our moods :-) There are days when we get up, survive, go to bed.
I totally completely understand everything thats on a wifes plate whose husband is gone. You are mom/dad/gardener/trash taker outer..you run it all and its exausting..its daunting, I know. But remember, Each day that passes, is one day closer to when you will see your spouse again.
And I promise you, one day you will see those beautiful white busses and your spouse will be home!! You will survive this! You will make it! Time does not stop..even though it feels like it, it doesn't.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Howdy Bloggers...Been awhile eh? I have not forgotten you. I've been spending every last minute with BD...and frankly..some of the stuff on my heart lately cant be put out onto the WWW.
Tomorrow is a very special day.....Its BD and I's 5yr Anniversary! We weren't supposed to have this anniversary together. The cards were stacked against us. I had prayed and prayed that we'd just get cut a break and be able to be together and the cards were still stacked against us..and at the last moment...The door was opened and what a blessing it is! 5yrs ago BD and I only dreamt of our 5yr anniversary, where would we be,what would we be doing and frankly it seemed SO far away and little did we know how far we would be in life.
BD,
Happy Anniversary! I know it's a day early but thats alright. I love you! Thank you for 5 beautiful years and 2 beautiful children. We haven't always gotten along, things weren't always as they are now, we've fought, we've doubted, we've survived the fire. I'm now more in love with you than the day we got married. You are my soul mate, you know me inside and out. As we face a hard year, remember all that we have withstood and that this is another trial. Will it break us or make us stronger? It's our choice.
I can't believe we've gotten to 5 years. It blows my mind.
From the beginning I was drawn to you, From that first meeting in the deli where you wouldn't help me figure out the coffee. :-)
People doubted us and we proved them wrong, people probably to this day still doubt us but what they don't know is that I love you, forever, for always. We don't get along sometimes, we fight, we're intense people, but we also love intensly. You're yellow..I'm green.
Thank you for marrying me, for putting up with me, for sticking with me through it all. Thank you! Thank you for having my back, Thank you for protecting me, Thank you for being on my side, for pushing me, for cheering me on, for wanting me to fulfill dreams and one day I will. Thank you for doing whatever you can to make my life good.
I love you..always! Venusforever
me
Tomorrow is a very special day.....Its BD and I's 5yr Anniversary! We weren't supposed to have this anniversary together. The cards were stacked against us. I had prayed and prayed that we'd just get cut a break and be able to be together and the cards were still stacked against us..and at the last moment...The door was opened and what a blessing it is! 5yrs ago BD and I only dreamt of our 5yr anniversary, where would we be,what would we be doing and frankly it seemed SO far away and little did we know how far we would be in life.
BD,
Happy Anniversary! I know it's a day early but thats alright. I love you! Thank you for 5 beautiful years and 2 beautiful children. We haven't always gotten along, things weren't always as they are now, we've fought, we've doubted, we've survived the fire. I'm now more in love with you than the day we got married. You are my soul mate, you know me inside and out. As we face a hard year, remember all that we have withstood and that this is another trial. Will it break us or make us stronger? It's our choice.
I can't believe we've gotten to 5 years. It blows my mind.
From the beginning I was drawn to you, From that first meeting in the deli where you wouldn't help me figure out the coffee. :-)
People doubted us and we proved them wrong, people probably to this day still doubt us but what they don't know is that I love you, forever, for always. We don't get along sometimes, we fight, we're intense people, but we also love intensly. You're yellow..I'm green.
Thank you for marrying me, for putting up with me, for sticking with me through it all. Thank you! Thank you for having my back, Thank you for protecting me, Thank you for being on my side, for pushing me, for cheering me on, for wanting me to fulfill dreams and one day I will. Thank you for doing whatever you can to make my life good.
I love you..always! Venusforever
me
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