Happy 1st Birthday

Happy First Birthday my amazing boy!!!! I'm so beyond proud of you!  You're amazing.  The day of your birth was both one of the best days of my life and one of the hardest. I love the boy you've become.  You're spunky, happy, smart, cute, fun, fiery... Yes... Fiery is a great word to describe you.   You think everything I say is funny.   I love that when I start singing you sit there and stare at me..If you've been crying you stop and you stare.  And smile.  I love your hugs.  I love how when you hear music you start dancing.  I love your laugh, I love how you wave "byebye"  and sign "all done"

Everything they said you couldn't do, I made sure you did.  You are not a quitter. You are strong.  You can do the impossible.  Feeding tube, no way! Eating baby food, why, YES! Eating finger foods, of course!!  Talking... They said it would be impossible with your cleft palate...  you say "mama and uhoh"
All the social workers and therapists we have ever come into contact with are surprised and shocked that you are so good at eating (you are your fathers son).  They all expect you to be on a feeding tube.  We don't have time for that nonsense.  You are my son.

I can't tell you what a joyful year it has been.  You have brought so much joy to my life.  I would do it all again..over and over.  It's also been one of the hardest years of my life.  You have made me a stronger mama.  You've made me a stronger person.  You've made me become an advocate for you and your sisters.  You've brought daddy and I closer.

My son, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for any pain you felt, from the surgeries and anything else you have gone through. I'm so so sorry and if I could have taken the pain for you I would have.  Every time you went back for surgery my heart was tearing. I may not have shown it on the outside but I was breaking on the inside.    It hasn't stopped you, though. You have an amazing personality.   You are going to be great.   You are going to do great things.

I love you to the moon and back.  Happy Happy Birthday my amazing boy!!

Mama and daddy love you so much!!!!