There are some days when I'm rock star stay at home mom. Then there are some days when I want to run out my front door screaming...heck, I wouldn't even have to scream. Can I just run away?!?! Today is one of those days. It is 7:46pm. I have one in bed and two still up. Disobeying.
Today started wonderfully. I had some peace this morning..coffee in... even got the kitchen cleaned up and refrigerator cleaned and scrubbed out. Then it all went downhill...
Ya see.. 3 days ago my otherwise amazing husband gave our 2 year old fiber powder in a drink.. well.. it worked. It worked to the point where my 2 year old now has the mother of all rashes due to the affects of said fiber powder. So today has been a cycle of change diaper/ medicine/scream/run from mom/change diaper/medicine/scream/run from mom/high pitched wailing/ changing of diaper/bath/screaming/medicine/screaming/more screaming/diaper. Let's also add into the equation that he can't talk so before the rash got really bad and red this evening I didn't even know what was wrong... Had he been able to tell me what hurt I could have started meds sooner. But that didn't happen. So now I'm paying for that.
It's also consisted of two little girls who have apparently forgotten how to obey/what to obey/when to obey/and WHY they should obey and have challenged absolutely everything I have said today. They've also torn apart their rooms.. Their curtains are down.. the closet is torn apart.. The lights on their beds have been ripped off and are dangling.. .I didn't get a chance to fix those yet either.
It's consisted of running out of dish soap and between diapers and disobeying girls a trip to the store to get more hasn't happened. Heck, I haven't even showered or gotten dressed yet today.
It's consisted of a husband who left at 5:30am and won't be home until 9:30pm..or it could be later. So the dishes in my sink will probably have to sit there until tomorrow whenever I get myself and three kids to the store because me going to the store at 9:30-10pm when my husband gets home just isn't going to happen.
It's consisted of cracker crumbs and popcorn kernels mashed into the carpet..that I had to clean up in the midst of all this.
It's consisted of my 7 year, God Bless her, trying to be helpful and getting her brother crackers while he was having a screaming fit..Normally she does so well at doing such a task. Today............... Today my counter is covered in broken crackers. The kitchen floor is covered in mashed crackers because the crackers fell and broke all over the place while she was getting them. And this was after she had cleaned them up. So now the mess is waiting on me.
It is now 8pm... I still have two up... and the 2 year old has now decided to wage a nighttime bed battle. Because, ya see, I did need this to happen tonight of all nights.
I'd love a shower. At this rate that won't be happening. I'd love to walk outside for 5 minutes for some air but at this point, I don't know that I trust the little people in this house enough to do that.
I'm close to tears. Dangerously close. But I know if I cry then bedtime will be delayed even longer.
I'd like to have my husband home to help me clean up these cracker crumbs, to run and get me soap, to give me a reprieve so I can go outside for 5 minutes.
I have laundry in the washer... wet. I have laundry in the dryer...wrinkling... I have clean laundry in the basket..wrinkling.. oh yah..and the hampers are full because I had just started laundry when everything went crazy.
Today... Being a stay at home mom isn't much fun.
Monday, July 28, 2014
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Update on Wesley The BIG TWO!!
Hey all! It's July!! July is Cleft and Craniofacial Awareness and Prevention Month!!! YAY for our month!! "Our" color is PURPLE!! I so want to get one of those purple ribbons for my car! I love advocating for my son!! I thought I would take a moment to update quickly on Wesley. There are some things that have been going on and I not only want to inform and educate everyone but also use this as a diary of sorts for our boy to read one day.
Wesley turned 2 a couple months ago! He is ornery, BUSY, fun, silly, and FEISTY! He LOOVES his mama and will stop what he's doing to come over and give me a hug or a kiss. I love it! Love my boy so so so much!! I am so so thankful God gave Wesley to ME!! I'd be so stinking jealous if He had given him to another mommy!!
Wesley has major speech delays. Honestly.. There hasn't been much progress in the last year. He says one word sentences. He signs. And he makes "Sounds" As his mother I can articulate and understand his sounds but others cannot. His main words are "mama" "dada" (Gaga), "Cracker" "Yuck" "ma" (For grandma) and "papa" That is about to extent of it. He does have many other sounds and signs he uses so is somewhat able to communicate. We are at a standstill. We aren't sure why he isn't progressing. His Speech therapist doesn't know and we don't know. It breaks my heart. The thought has been thrown around that he may have some sort of nerve damage but we just aren't sure. He's in speech therapy once a week. He loves his Jo!!
We have a few different avenues we are going to try here in the next few months. We are going to look into a more in dept hearing test just to rule out any hearing issues. He's had standard tests done but I feel like we should look deeper into that. Also, new tubes will probably be happening in the next few months. The ones he has in now have been in for just about 2 years now, which is a really long time for tubes.
We are also going to look into possibly starting private speech therapy along with the therapy he is already getting.
Other than that we just don't know what is going on. It's heartbreaking as a mother. There were a few days when all I could do was cry. I felt helpless. I felt scared. I felt like I was doing something wrong. What was I not getting!? We cannot give up though. Cognitively he's above average for his age. He's such a smart little boy. He understands exactly what we say and what we mean.
Socially... we are working on it. He has bad anxiety and doesn't like new people. It's tiring as a mom. I can see that he is slowly -mayyybe- coming out of that. I'm seeing some glimmer of hope that he may be trying to break through that. I really hope so. We don't have babysitters, besides our parents, he doesn't do any other form of daycare as he would just scream and melt all over the place...that is if I could pry him off of me long enough to leave.
I thank God every day for my boy. For everything he has taught me in the last 2 years. For how he's helped me grow into the mother I am.
Wesley turned 2 a couple months ago! He is ornery, BUSY, fun, silly, and FEISTY! He LOOVES his mama and will stop what he's doing to come over and give me a hug or a kiss. I love it! Love my boy so so so much!! I am so so thankful God gave Wesley to ME!! I'd be so stinking jealous if He had given him to another mommy!!
Wesley has major speech delays. Honestly.. There hasn't been much progress in the last year. He says one word sentences. He signs. And he makes "Sounds" As his mother I can articulate and understand his sounds but others cannot. His main words are "mama" "dada" (Gaga), "Cracker" "Yuck" "ma" (For grandma) and "papa" That is about to extent of it. He does have many other sounds and signs he uses so is somewhat able to communicate. We are at a standstill. We aren't sure why he isn't progressing. His Speech therapist doesn't know and we don't know. It breaks my heart. The thought has been thrown around that he may have some sort of nerve damage but we just aren't sure. He's in speech therapy once a week. He loves his Jo!!
We have a few different avenues we are going to try here in the next few months. We are going to look into a more in dept hearing test just to rule out any hearing issues. He's had standard tests done but I feel like we should look deeper into that. Also, new tubes will probably be happening in the next few months. The ones he has in now have been in for just about 2 years now, which is a really long time for tubes.
We are also going to look into possibly starting private speech therapy along with the therapy he is already getting.
Other than that we just don't know what is going on. It's heartbreaking as a mother. There were a few days when all I could do was cry. I felt helpless. I felt scared. I felt like I was doing something wrong. What was I not getting!? We cannot give up though. Cognitively he's above average for his age. He's such a smart little boy. He understands exactly what we say and what we mean.
Socially... we are working on it. He has bad anxiety and doesn't like new people. It's tiring as a mom. I can see that he is slowly -mayyybe- coming out of that. I'm seeing some glimmer of hope that he may be trying to break through that. I really hope so. We don't have babysitters, besides our parents, he doesn't do any other form of daycare as he would just scream and melt all over the place...that is if I could pry him off of me long enough to leave.
I thank God every day for my boy. For everything he has taught me in the last 2 years. For how he's helped me grow into the mother I am.
Monday, May 26, 2014
Happy Memorial Day
Happy Memorial Day!! May we never forget why we celebrate this holiday! May we never forget why a sacrifice was made.
I spent 8 years as a Military wife. That is my home. My family. I know many who lost their lives in the war and many who were deeply changed in some way. Let us never forget the sacrifices that were made.
I went through 3 year long deployments. Each one I lived in fear every day that I would get a knock on my door. Losing my husband seemed like more than I could handle.
I spent every night for 3 years making sure my house was clean before I went to bed in case I got awoken by a knock on the door, I wanted my house presentable. I spent every day for 3 years praying for my husband. Praying for his friends. His safety. I was incredibly blessed to get my husband back whole.
When a Military wife loses her husband at war, we all grieve. I spent many days grieving for other soldiers. I can't begin to understand how they felt but I can imagine and I grieved with them. For them, because all too easily it could have been my husband. I think I can safely say that losing your spouse at war is one of the hardest, saddest things one could go through.
Never Forget. These men and women laid down their lives for our freedom. For our country. It has nothing to do with your political affiliation, our President, or whether you agree with war or not. These are real men, Real women, who died serving this country. They died for YOU. For ME. So that we could have the freedoms we do.
Happy Memorial Day!
I spent 8 years as a Military wife. That is my home. My family. I know many who lost their lives in the war and many who were deeply changed in some way. Let us never forget the sacrifices that were made.
I went through 3 year long deployments. Each one I lived in fear every day that I would get a knock on my door. Losing my husband seemed like more than I could handle.
I spent every night for 3 years making sure my house was clean before I went to bed in case I got awoken by a knock on the door, I wanted my house presentable. I spent every day for 3 years praying for my husband. Praying for his friends. His safety. I was incredibly blessed to get my husband back whole.
When a Military wife loses her husband at war, we all grieve. I spent many days grieving for other soldiers. I can't begin to understand how they felt but I can imagine and I grieved with them. For them, because all too easily it could have been my husband. I think I can safely say that losing your spouse at war is one of the hardest, saddest things one could go through.
Never Forget. These men and women laid down their lives for our freedom. For our country. It has nothing to do with your political affiliation, our President, or whether you agree with war or not. These are real men, Real women, who died serving this country. They died for YOU. For ME. So that we could have the freedoms we do.
Happy Memorial Day!
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Month Long Celebration
Happy MAY! I love May. May is one of my favorite months, always has been; Now that it's my little boys birthday month I love it even more. May also houses Cleft Awareness Week. Which is May 11-18th.
They say Cleft lip and palates are one of the most common birth defects. I don't believe that. For them being so "common" nobody knows much about it, which is why I will preach until the cows come home. I remember being a scared mother, whose son was just born with a cleft lip and palate and we had no prior clue. I was so lost. It seemed almost every nurse I had contact with was also lost. I had one, amazing, nurse who I will NEVER ever forget, Ms. Norma, She advocated for us and helped us. She was amazing!! Over the past 2 years I have met many people in the medical profession and even in daily life who have no clue why my son looks different or what a cleft even is. That's not very "Common" now is it.
First, I'd like to share some statistics about cleft lip and Palates.. I'll site my resources at the end.
~clefts occur in approximately 1 in 700 babies yearly!
~ It occurs twice as often in males as it does in females.
~ Approximately 30 percent of cleft deformities are associated with a syndrome, so a thorough medical evaluation and genetic counseling is recommended for cleft patients
~ Multiple surgeries and long-term follow-up are often necessary
~ There are many long-term complications with clefts, as in Breathing, Feeding, Ear infections and hearing loss, Speech and language delays, and dental problems.
( You can find the source of all my facts here and here )
There are two kinds of clefts, Unilateral (One side) and Bilateral (affecting both sides of the lip). Our son has a Unilateral cleft lip and palate.
Some clefts can be diagnosed by routine ultrasound, others, like ours, is a complete surprise. I'm not sure why. To this day I don't know why it happened. I have my suspicions, but I have no concrete knowledge, and I may never, which is something I will have to learn to be okay with. Before I knew I was pregnant I was given a medicine, that medicine is known to be harmful if you are pregnant and can cause cleft and craniofacial abnormalities. Turns out I was pregnant, though, while I was taking that medicine. I'm not 100% positive that caused Wesleys cleft. It may have been just a 1 in 1,000 chance. A random happening.
Clefts are not a "one fix wonder" It's not a simple "couple surgeries and he's a normal boy" like we were told and many believe. Wesley, at 2 years old, has had 3 surgeries, not counting ear tubes. He has at MINIMUM 1-3 more but it could be even more than that as the years go on. It all depends on his mouth, situation, and how his body heals. Along with surgeries he has major speech issues, ear infections, and possible hearing loss due to the constant ear infections. We spent the first year of his life battling ear infections constantly. When I say 'constant' I mean, we would get over one infection, be okay for a few days and then another would flare up. I remember feeling so helpless and stressed because there was nothing I could do to stop it. He will have dental issues. Orthodontics, bone grafts, teeth extractions, palate widening.. many many more procedures. He had his palate surgery (To close the palate) and his palate cleft was so wide that they couldn't fully close it and he -still- has a hole in the roof of his mouth that will remain until he is 6-8 years old. Along with medical care he also has extreme anxiety. He doesn't tolerate anyone but a select few. I can't leave him. I can't put him in a daycare or a babysitter. If "the chosen ones" can't babysit, my husband and I don't go out. It's been since January since my husband and I have been alone together. Our "Chosen ones" as I call them, have lives and are busy. It's not as easy as hiring the bored teenager down the street. Hopefully here soon we will be starting therapies to help ease that for him but for now, we wait. He sees a therapist once a week for speech. It's not a "one fix and he's fine" situation like many believe. It's a LIFE.
This year for Wesley's birthday I asked everyone in Lieu of gifts to donate to a wonderful program called CleftAdvocate. You can read about them and their mission Here. They have been a source of amazing support and encouragement in the last 2 years to us and I want to give back to them! They are an amazing community of people ready and willing to help, support, and advocate for families dealing with cleft and craniofacial issues.
They have not only been there to support us in those very scary first few days of Wesley's life but they have helped provide us with tips on feeding, tips on surgery and recovery. They have been there to say "I understand" when there was a bad day. They have made the past two years not as lonely for us. It's a very lonely life. I don't know anyone near us who has a cleft lip and palate. It's one of those things you don't really understand unless you have lived it. I don't have a neighbor down the street who has a sister who had a cleft lip. I don't have a relative who knew someone. I have these people, most I don't know and have never met personally, to help me find my way. To help me provide my son with amazing care. To tell me to ask Doctors questions that I wouldn't think to ask. To suggest procedures that will enhance his life. I get to see pictures of all their beautiful babies and realize I'm not alone!!! I felt so helpless, so lost, so alone, after Wesley was born. I didn't know what to do. What to ask or how to ask it.
We don't view Wesley's birthday as 'Please bring us gifts"... We view it as "Come CELEBRATE with us!, come watch what we've accomplished!!!" My son doesn't need "stuff" His heart will not be broken if he doesn't have 45 trains. What he -does- need is this amazing community around to continue supporting us and even -him- as he gets old enough to access the internet. Teenagers who have Clefts need support. You remember being a teenager! It's difficult. People are MEAN. I want my son to have access to people who support him regardless, Who understand what he's going through like nobody ever will.
Wesley is 2. He won't remember oodles of gifts for his birthday. I'm not being a "mean mommy". I'm not being a "stick in the mud". I'm being a mother that is saying no more STUFF and let's focus on what MATTERS, which is celebrating what we have accomplished the past two years! I know this puts people outside their comfort zones, what? no gifts?!, but I'm asking you take a step outside of that comfort zone and let's do something awesome for an amazing group!
I've asked our family and friends and I will ask my bloggies.. Would you consider donating to this amazing program? Even $5-10 helps greatly! I gain NOTHING from this. Not one penny. I have not been asked by Ameriface or CleftAdvoate to promote them or give to them. I am doing this because I WANT to. I LOVE the community and people and want your help to give back to them! Anything you give is tax-deductible. They have been there for us, supported us, helped us gain information and knowledge and honestly, I would have been lost without them! If I could donate $4,000 myself, I would. But I cannot so I am asking you all, Would you consider donating, even $5, as a gift to Wesley and a gift to us to help them continue their work.
You can find more information about CleftAdvocate and Ameriface right here and for those that wish to donate you can go here. For those friends and family near by I also have donation envelopes.
Thank you all so much for your support of us and our son the past two years. It means more than you will ever know!! If you are interested in reading Wesleys Birth Story you can check that out here.
They say Cleft lip and palates are one of the most common birth defects. I don't believe that. For them being so "common" nobody knows much about it, which is why I will preach until the cows come home. I remember being a scared mother, whose son was just born with a cleft lip and palate and we had no prior clue. I was so lost. It seemed almost every nurse I had contact with was also lost. I had one, amazing, nurse who I will NEVER ever forget, Ms. Norma, She advocated for us and helped us. She was amazing!! Over the past 2 years I have met many people in the medical profession and even in daily life who have no clue why my son looks different or what a cleft even is. That's not very "Common" now is it.
First, I'd like to share some statistics about cleft lip and Palates.. I'll site my resources at the end.
~clefts occur in approximately 1 in 700 babies yearly!
~ It occurs twice as often in males as it does in females.
~ Approximately 30 percent of cleft deformities are associated with a syndrome, so a thorough medical evaluation and genetic counseling is recommended for cleft patients
~ Multiple surgeries and long-term follow-up are often necessary
~ There are many long-term complications with clefts, as in Breathing, Feeding, Ear infections and hearing loss, Speech and language delays, and dental problems.
( You can find the source of all my facts here and here )
There are two kinds of clefts, Unilateral (One side) and Bilateral (affecting both sides of the lip). Our son has a Unilateral cleft lip and palate.
Some clefts can be diagnosed by routine ultrasound, others, like ours, is a complete surprise. I'm not sure why. To this day I don't know why it happened. I have my suspicions, but I have no concrete knowledge, and I may never, which is something I will have to learn to be okay with. Before I knew I was pregnant I was given a medicine, that medicine is known to be harmful if you are pregnant and can cause cleft and craniofacial abnormalities. Turns out I was pregnant, though, while I was taking that medicine. I'm not 100% positive that caused Wesleys cleft. It may have been just a 1 in 1,000 chance. A random happening.
Clefts are not a "one fix wonder" It's not a simple "couple surgeries and he's a normal boy" like we were told and many believe. Wesley, at 2 years old, has had 3 surgeries, not counting ear tubes. He has at MINIMUM 1-3 more but it could be even more than that as the years go on. It all depends on his mouth, situation, and how his body heals. Along with surgeries he has major speech issues, ear infections, and possible hearing loss due to the constant ear infections. We spent the first year of his life battling ear infections constantly. When I say 'constant' I mean, we would get over one infection, be okay for a few days and then another would flare up. I remember feeling so helpless and stressed because there was nothing I could do to stop it. He will have dental issues. Orthodontics, bone grafts, teeth extractions, palate widening.. many many more procedures. He had his palate surgery (To close the palate) and his palate cleft was so wide that they couldn't fully close it and he -still- has a hole in the roof of his mouth that will remain until he is 6-8 years old. Along with medical care he also has extreme anxiety. He doesn't tolerate anyone but a select few. I can't leave him. I can't put him in a daycare or a babysitter. If "the chosen ones" can't babysit, my husband and I don't go out. It's been since January since my husband and I have been alone together. Our "Chosen ones" as I call them, have lives and are busy. It's not as easy as hiring the bored teenager down the street. Hopefully here soon we will be starting therapies to help ease that for him but for now, we wait. He sees a therapist once a week for speech. It's not a "one fix and he's fine" situation like many believe. It's a LIFE.
This year for Wesley's birthday I asked everyone in Lieu of gifts to donate to a wonderful program called CleftAdvocate. You can read about them and their mission Here. They have been a source of amazing support and encouragement in the last 2 years to us and I want to give back to them! They are an amazing community of people ready and willing to help, support, and advocate for families dealing with cleft and craniofacial issues.
They have not only been there to support us in those very scary first few days of Wesley's life but they have helped provide us with tips on feeding, tips on surgery and recovery. They have been there to say "I understand" when there was a bad day. They have made the past two years not as lonely for us. It's a very lonely life. I don't know anyone near us who has a cleft lip and palate. It's one of those things you don't really understand unless you have lived it. I don't have a neighbor down the street who has a sister who had a cleft lip. I don't have a relative who knew someone. I have these people, most I don't know and have never met personally, to help me find my way. To help me provide my son with amazing care. To tell me to ask Doctors questions that I wouldn't think to ask. To suggest procedures that will enhance his life. I get to see pictures of all their beautiful babies and realize I'm not alone!!! I felt so helpless, so lost, so alone, after Wesley was born. I didn't know what to do. What to ask or how to ask it.
We don't view Wesley's birthday as 'Please bring us gifts"... We view it as "Come CELEBRATE with us!, come watch what we've accomplished!!!" My son doesn't need "stuff" His heart will not be broken if he doesn't have 45 trains. What he -does- need is this amazing community around to continue supporting us and even -him- as he gets old enough to access the internet. Teenagers who have Clefts need support. You remember being a teenager! It's difficult. People are MEAN. I want my son to have access to people who support him regardless, Who understand what he's going through like nobody ever will.
Wesley is 2. He won't remember oodles of gifts for his birthday. I'm not being a "mean mommy". I'm not being a "stick in the mud". I'm being a mother that is saying no more STUFF and let's focus on what MATTERS, which is celebrating what we have accomplished the past two years! I know this puts people outside their comfort zones, what? no gifts?!, but I'm asking you take a step outside of that comfort zone and let's do something awesome for an amazing group!
I've asked our family and friends and I will ask my bloggies.. Would you consider donating to this amazing program? Even $5-10 helps greatly! I gain NOTHING from this. Not one penny. I have not been asked by Ameriface or CleftAdvoate to promote them or give to them. I am doing this because I WANT to. I LOVE the community and people and want your help to give back to them! Anything you give is tax-deductible. They have been there for us, supported us, helped us gain information and knowledge and honestly, I would have been lost without them! If I could donate $4,000 myself, I would. But I cannot so I am asking you all, Would you consider donating, even $5, as a gift to Wesley and a gift to us to help them continue their work.
You can find more information about CleftAdvocate and Ameriface right here and for those that wish to donate you can go here. For those friends and family near by I also have donation envelopes.
Thank you all so much for your support of us and our son the past two years. It means more than you will ever know!! If you are interested in reading Wesleys Birth Story you can check that out here.
Friday, April 25, 2014
Storms
I may come across as a little storm crazy.. let me explain why. Last year there was a fairly big storm and tornado in a town an hour from us. We were traveling to that town not knowing about any inclement weather. I checked radar before we left and there was nothing to indicate anything that would stop us from traveling. We got a lot of flack for being out in that storm with our kids. It hurt my feelings, made me feel like a bad mom for not protecting my kids.... Here's the bottom line. Nobody TOLD us there was a storm -that severe-. Nobody told us there was a threat of tornado or that conditions were even tornado-like. The storm popped up within the hour of us driving there. Those at home watching news knew -way- more than we, who were driving in the car.. Sure we had the radio on and knew there was a storm but we were only hearing sporadic weather updates. And we weren't hearing anything that made us think "This may turn into a tornado" So we continued with our plans. We were accused of not planning. We planned all we could but there's also only so much I can do in a vehicle traveling.
We came really really close to being in the midst of that tornado in our vehicle. It was scary. Our kids were scared. Was it pretty cool.. yes!! (I've always been a storm junkie) But not at the expense that our kids were out in it!! What do I wish? I wish someone would have told us!! People knew we were heading into the area, it wasn't like it was a secret. But with my 3 kids with me, I expected someone to say "hey listen... this very well could produce a tornado" and that never happened. It was a complicated, scary storm.
Now..because of our experience last year I am prepared THIS year. I am taking more precautions. I am making plans a day in advance. I have a place to go because our house doesn't have a basement. If I shouldn't be able to make it to our "safe place" I have a plan for how to keep us safe here. What furniture to move to block us into the hall, what mattresses to grab, etc. I plan to gather phone chargers, blankets, meds, diapers, etc and have that in the car so we can leave at a moments notice should there look like there will be the threat of a tornado. My kids' lives are too precious! Make fun, call me crazy, but I would rather be "crazy" and safe rather than sorry and considering we have no proper shelter here, I have to start early.
If you live in an area that get's tornadoes it's always good to have a kit ready and in the car for when/if you need to leave. I'm putting a link Here of items to prepare. Stay safe this weekend Kansans!!!
We came really really close to being in the midst of that tornado in our vehicle. It was scary. Our kids were scared. Was it pretty cool.. yes!! (I've always been a storm junkie) But not at the expense that our kids were out in it!! What do I wish? I wish someone would have told us!! People knew we were heading into the area, it wasn't like it was a secret. But with my 3 kids with me, I expected someone to say "hey listen... this very well could produce a tornado" and that never happened. It was a complicated, scary storm.
Now..because of our experience last year I am prepared THIS year. I am taking more precautions. I am making plans a day in advance. I have a place to go because our house doesn't have a basement. If I shouldn't be able to make it to our "safe place" I have a plan for how to keep us safe here. What furniture to move to block us into the hall, what mattresses to grab, etc. I plan to gather phone chargers, blankets, meds, diapers, etc and have that in the car so we can leave at a moments notice should there look like there will be the threat of a tornado. My kids' lives are too precious! Make fun, call me crazy, but I would rather be "crazy" and safe rather than sorry and considering we have no proper shelter here, I have to start early.
If you live in an area that get's tornadoes it's always good to have a kit ready and in the car for when/if you need to leave. I'm putting a link Here of items to prepare. Stay safe this weekend Kansans!!!
Thursday, March 6, 2014
A Letter To My Daughters And Every Other Little Girl Out There
A Letter To My Daughters... And Every Other Girl Out There:
1. You are beautiful! Nobody can take that from you! You are special and beautiful all on your own! You don't need make-up, You don't need jewelry, You don't need to show your body. I won't give you the speech about "God doesn't want you to show your body, Your body is a temple" While that is true, I want to get real: Showing your body attracts men. Nobody argues that. Here's the punch line; The men you attract while you show off your body are not the men you should be attracting. The men you attract by showing your body, will not be there once your body changes...and it will. Trust me. I met my husband while wearing a horribly unflattering maroon apron, my hair probably in a messy ponytail and wearing a number of unidentifiable food splatters on that wonderful maroon apron. To this day he says that sight took his breath away. I can guarantee older women are looking at you thinking "Oh dear... she doesn't get it" Maybe it's something that everyone has to go through, the revealing clothes stage, to realize "I don't need this!" " I don't need to wear this to be beautiful. I don't need to wear this to feel valuable." We all see the people posting the selfies with the boobies hangin out... We see it. We know what you are doing. It's desperate. It's not tasteful. It makes you look slutty. Slutty isn't something to be proud of. So, woman to woman, Adult to tweenager, stop it. Just stop.
2. Stand up for yourself. Don't let anyone push you around. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't do something. You can do anything you set your mind to.
3. Learn that you don't need a man. Be self sufficient. Don't be with a guy because you feel you need to be. Don't be with a guy to make you feel good. Men are human, Men let us down. They hurt us. When you put your whole being into a man and he hurts you, you'll crumble. Don't let yourself crumble! This is not said to emasculate men and I can hear the chorus now "You need to show your man you need him!!!" Yes! You do!! But don't have him be your whole being! I am not with my husband because I -need- him. I am with him because I -want- him. I don't rely on him for complete emotional health. I don't rely on him to support me, while that is the role he is taking now, there will be times in the future where I may be pulling the weight in regards to income. I'm with him because I want to be. Not because I have to be.
4. Learn to change the oil. Not just the oil but learn to change a tire and learn to run a lawn mower. Learn to fix a sink (Yes I know how to fix sink pipes!). Learn to do "man jobs" Not because I was an Army wife... Not because I'm a feminist (sayy wwwhhhhhatt?) I know how to do all that because I may need the knowledge. What if I'm at home and a pipe under the sink bursts and my husband is at work. Do I call him? Honey come home!!!! In his line of work that isn't going to happen. Do I run around to neighbors until I find one to help me?! I could just fix it. Chances are I can have the water off and pipe fixed, or at the very least, mended and not spewing water all over my floor, before I could find help. It's not being a feminist. It's not to emasculate my husband. It's practical!!!
5. Learn to manage money. Money makes the world go 'round. Learn how to use it..smartly.
6. Find a man who treats you right. Who is respectful and kind and has the same values as you. Who doesn't belittle or hit you. Who treats you as a woman and not a "thing". Don't settle for someone who doesn't treat you right just because you think all the good men are gone. They aren't. Maybe if you can't find a good man, you aren't looking in the right spot. If all else fails, be okay with being alone!
7. Respect yourself. As a student, sister, mother, aunt.. whatever you are. Respect yourself. If you respect yourself, others will too!
8. What you put online comes back to haunt you. Facebook, twitter, Instagram... whatever you post comes back to you! Watch what you put on the internet. You never know who you may meet up with or interview with for a job, and what they will find online. Employers can google. They can find you on Facebook. On another note, What you put on the internet can either hurt or help your husbands (Future husband) career. We, as women, hold such power. What we say and do can affect our men in their jobs.
Let's share a little story..completely made up.. Susie talks crap on her boyfriends boss on Facebook. Susie is friends, unbeknownst to her, with her boyfriends' bosses' sister... Said sister knows this... This doesn't look good for Susie's boyfriend, huh?
Another Susie (different Susie, I'm just not creative enough to come up with another generic name) posts nakey boobie shots on Instagram... Susies Husband has a boss... Susies' husbands boss googles... Do we see what Boss Man now knows...
Bottom line: What we do as wives or girlfriends can either put a positive light or a negative light on our husbands. You may not want to believe it, but what we do can either hurt or help our men. That's the power we have! The things we say or do, the way we act in public, they all come back to us. You may not realize it now but everybody knows everybody. It's a small world! Don't think you're anonymous just because you're on the internet. Shine a good light on your man. They'll thank you!
1. You are beautiful! Nobody can take that from you! You are special and beautiful all on your own! You don't need make-up, You don't need jewelry, You don't need to show your body. I won't give you the speech about "God doesn't want you to show your body, Your body is a temple" While that is true, I want to get real: Showing your body attracts men. Nobody argues that. Here's the punch line; The men you attract while you show off your body are not the men you should be attracting. The men you attract by showing your body, will not be there once your body changes...and it will. Trust me. I met my husband while wearing a horribly unflattering maroon apron, my hair probably in a messy ponytail and wearing a number of unidentifiable food splatters on that wonderful maroon apron. To this day he says that sight took his breath away. I can guarantee older women are looking at you thinking "Oh dear... she doesn't get it" Maybe it's something that everyone has to go through, the revealing clothes stage, to realize "I don't need this!" " I don't need to wear this to be beautiful. I don't need to wear this to feel valuable." We all see the people posting the selfies with the boobies hangin out... We see it. We know what you are doing. It's desperate. It's not tasteful. It makes you look slutty. Slutty isn't something to be proud of. So, woman to woman, Adult to tweenager, stop it. Just stop.
2. Stand up for yourself. Don't let anyone push you around. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't do something. You can do anything you set your mind to.
3. Learn that you don't need a man. Be self sufficient. Don't be with a guy because you feel you need to be. Don't be with a guy to make you feel good. Men are human, Men let us down. They hurt us. When you put your whole being into a man and he hurts you, you'll crumble. Don't let yourself crumble! This is not said to emasculate men and I can hear the chorus now "You need to show your man you need him!!!" Yes! You do!! But don't have him be your whole being! I am not with my husband because I -need- him. I am with him because I -want- him. I don't rely on him for complete emotional health. I don't rely on him to support me, while that is the role he is taking now, there will be times in the future where I may be pulling the weight in regards to income. I'm with him because I want to be. Not because I have to be.
4. Learn to change the oil. Not just the oil but learn to change a tire and learn to run a lawn mower. Learn to fix a sink (Yes I know how to fix sink pipes!). Learn to do "man jobs" Not because I was an Army wife... Not because I'm a feminist (sayy wwwhhhhhatt?) I know how to do all that because I may need the knowledge. What if I'm at home and a pipe under the sink bursts and my husband is at work. Do I call him? Honey come home!!!! In his line of work that isn't going to happen. Do I run around to neighbors until I find one to help me?! I could just fix it. Chances are I can have the water off and pipe fixed, or at the very least, mended and not spewing water all over my floor, before I could find help. It's not being a feminist. It's not to emasculate my husband. It's practical!!!
5. Learn to manage money. Money makes the world go 'round. Learn how to use it..smartly.
6. Find a man who treats you right. Who is respectful and kind and has the same values as you. Who doesn't belittle or hit you. Who treats you as a woman and not a "thing". Don't settle for someone who doesn't treat you right just because you think all the good men are gone. They aren't. Maybe if you can't find a good man, you aren't looking in the right spot. If all else fails, be okay with being alone!
7. Respect yourself. As a student, sister, mother, aunt.. whatever you are. Respect yourself. If you respect yourself, others will too!
8. What you put online comes back to haunt you. Facebook, twitter, Instagram... whatever you post comes back to you! Watch what you put on the internet. You never know who you may meet up with or interview with for a job, and what they will find online. Employers can google. They can find you on Facebook. On another note, What you put on the internet can either hurt or help your husbands (Future husband) career. We, as women, hold such power. What we say and do can affect our men in their jobs.
Let's share a little story..completely made up.. Susie talks crap on her boyfriends boss on Facebook. Susie is friends, unbeknownst to her, with her boyfriends' bosses' sister... Said sister knows this... This doesn't look good for Susie's boyfriend, huh?
Another Susie (different Susie, I'm just not creative enough to come up with another generic name) posts nakey boobie shots on Instagram... Susies Husband has a boss... Susies' husbands boss googles... Do we see what Boss Man now knows...
Bottom line: What we do as wives or girlfriends can either put a positive light or a negative light on our husbands. You may not want to believe it, but what we do can either hurt or help our men. That's the power we have! The things we say or do, the way we act in public, they all come back to us. You may not realize it now but everybody knows everybody. It's a small world! Don't think you're anonymous just because you're on the internet. Shine a good light on your man. They'll thank you!
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Dear 17 Year Old Me
Dear 17 Year Old Me,
You are strong. Never forget that. You'll get thrown hurdles. Those who you think are your friends, aren't. Those that you don't think are your friends will become the most influential and special people in your life. Don't spend too much time on those you want to be friends with but treat you wrong.
Don't ever give up! Don't give up on you. Don't give up on your marriage. It's worth it. Fight. Fight and Fight hard. It doesn't seem like it's worth it, but it is. It truly is!
You'll be thrown such hardships. The hardships you've dealt with thus far only prepare you for what's to come. They only make you stronger for what's to come.
There will be a time when you look back think "wow! That was worth it. I survived that"
Don't tolerate behavior from boys that you know is wrong, just so you don't upset someone or because you are afraid of losing someone or being alone. Being alone is OKAY!
Stop living in such fear that people will leave you. Stop living in fear that one wrong move and they will leave. People are going to do what they want. You can't control what they do. You can only control you and be true to you!
Life isn't so black and white. There is so much grey. Embrace the grey.
Don't worry about pleasing everyone. It won't happen. Do what makes you happy and forget those that don't agree.
You're going to have 3 amazing kids. Just like you wanted. The oldest is smart, funny, and she keeps you on your toes. She keeps you guessing. She's a firecracker, which is what you need. Your middle child.. She will be attached to you from the moment she is born, It's amazing, but do make her fly on her own. She needs to learn to fly. Help her fly..gently. She's a peaceful soul. Your youngest... He will teach you to fight. He will teach you to be an advocate. He will teach you that you can survive for 3 days on 2 hours of sleep. He will teach you to fight even harder. To stand up for what you believe. He also, is the light of your life. He's a miracle baby.
The boy you are with now... You'll marry. It won't be roses or sunshine. In fact there will be less rose and less sunshine than you would ever believe. BUT.. stick with it. Fight for what you want. It pays off and it pays off HUGE. Those that don't believe you know what you are doing or you are with the wrong guy. You aren't. You're right. Go with your gut. It won't be easy but it's worth it.
Fight.... Don't ever stop!
You are strong. Never forget that. You'll get thrown hurdles. Those who you think are your friends, aren't. Those that you don't think are your friends will become the most influential and special people in your life. Don't spend too much time on those you want to be friends with but treat you wrong.
Don't ever give up! Don't give up on you. Don't give up on your marriage. It's worth it. Fight. Fight and Fight hard. It doesn't seem like it's worth it, but it is. It truly is!
You'll be thrown such hardships. The hardships you've dealt with thus far only prepare you for what's to come. They only make you stronger for what's to come.
There will be a time when you look back think "wow! That was worth it. I survived that"
Don't tolerate behavior from boys that you know is wrong, just so you don't upset someone or because you are afraid of losing someone or being alone. Being alone is OKAY!
Stop living in such fear that people will leave you. Stop living in fear that one wrong move and they will leave. People are going to do what they want. You can't control what they do. You can only control you and be true to you!
Life isn't so black and white. There is so much grey. Embrace the grey.
Don't worry about pleasing everyone. It won't happen. Do what makes you happy and forget those that don't agree.
You're going to have 3 amazing kids. Just like you wanted. The oldest is smart, funny, and she keeps you on your toes. She keeps you guessing. She's a firecracker, which is what you need. Your middle child.. She will be attached to you from the moment she is born, It's amazing, but do make her fly on her own. She needs to learn to fly. Help her fly..gently. She's a peaceful soul. Your youngest... He will teach you to fight. He will teach you to be an advocate. He will teach you that you can survive for 3 days on 2 hours of sleep. He will teach you to fight even harder. To stand up for what you believe. He also, is the light of your life. He's a miracle baby.
The boy you are with now... You'll marry. It won't be roses or sunshine. In fact there will be less rose and less sunshine than you would ever believe. BUT.. stick with it. Fight for what you want. It pays off and it pays off HUGE. Those that don't believe you know what you are doing or you are with the wrong guy. You aren't. You're right. Go with your gut. It won't be easy but it's worth it.
Fight.... Don't ever stop!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)